Wilson's Almanac Scriptorium home

 

This page is big! If it fails to load fully, please click Refresh on your browser menu.
It's fully loaded when you see the purple menu bar at the foot of the page.

 

fnordreetings from Australia. 

Welcome to this Red-Letter Day. Below you will find today's global celebrations, birthdays and events.

First time here?  See the Index for Information How it works

Celebrate each and every day with a free subscription to the daily ezine. You can apply by form or send a blank email. Read what the 'Almaniacs' (members) say about Wilson's Almanac.

I request your support if this website pleases and informs you, as this is my livelihood. Thank you, from the bottom of my fridge. 

Inquiries from publishers are welcome, but, dear reader, please don't use my work without my written permission. If I've inadvertently used something of yours that you consider not to fall under the fair use doctrine, please tell me and I'll remove it.

Carpe diem! (Seize the day!)

Pip Wilson

 

Add to My Yahoo!

Our news on your homepage
(that is, if you use My Yahoo, which we recommend for your start-up page)


 

 

September: Click for more folklore of this month


To the Book of Days main calendar

 


Carpe diem!

1


Yesterday | Tomorrow | Search


Open links in a New Window

Today is

 

As lame as St Giles Cripple-gate.
English saying

Fair weather first day of September, fair for the month.
English traditional saying

Why weep you? Did you think I should live forever? I thought dying had been harder.
Dying words of King Louis XIV of France, the 'Sun King', on September 1, 1715

When the birds appear all the male inhabitants of the neighborhood leave their customary occupations as farmers, bark-peelers, oil-scouts, wildcatters, and tavern loafers, and join in the work of capturing and marketing the game. The Pennsylvania law very plainly forbids the destruction of the pigeons on their nesting grounds, but no one pays any attention to the law, and the nesting birds have been killed by thousands and tens of thousands.
Forest and Stream, 1886

The pigeons were picked up and piled in heaps, until each [hunter] had as many as he could possibly dispose of, when the hogs were let loose to feed on the remainder.
John James Audubon, Birds of America. Martha, the last Passenger pigeon, died on September 1, 1914.


When an individual is seen gliding through the woods and close to the observer, it passes like a thought, and on trying to see it again, the eye searches in vain; the bird is gone.
John James Audubon, on the Passenger pigeon

In summer they feasted on wheat and oats and were easily approached as they rested on the trees along the sides of the field after a good full meal, displaying beautiful iridescent colors as they moved their necks backward and forward when we went very near them. Every shotgun was aimed at them and everybody feasted on pigeon pies, and not a few of the settlers feasted also on the beauty of the wonderful birds. The breast of the male is a fine rosy red, the lower part of the neck behind and along the sides changing from the red of the breast to gold, emerald green and rich crimson. The general color of the upper parts is grayish blue, the under parts white. The extreme length of the bird is about seventeen inches; the finely modeled slender tail about eight inches, and extent of wings twentyfour inches. The females are scarcely less beautiful.
John Muir on Passenger pigeons; The Story of My Boyhood and Youth   Source

The pigeon was a biological storm. He was the lightning that played between two opposing potentials of intolerable intensity: the fat of the land and the oxygen of the air. Yearly the feathered tempest roared up, down and across the continent, sucking up the laden fruits of forest and prairie, burning them in a traveling blast of life.
Aldo Leopold; A Sand County Almanac, 'On A Monument to the Pigeon'  
Source

I bear the Scales, where hang in equipoise
The night and day; and when unto my lips
I put my trumpet, with its stress and noise
Fly the white clouds like tattered sails of ships;
The tree-tops lash the air with sounding whips;
Southward the clamorous sea-fowl wing their flight;
The hedges are all red with haws and hips,
The Hunter's Moon reigns empress of the night.

HW Longfellow (1807 - '82); The Poet's Calendar for September

Mary had a little lamb,
Its fleece was white as snow,
And everywhere that Mary went
The lamb was sure to go.

Sarah Josepha Hale; 'Mary's Little Lamb', from Poems for Our Children, published on September 1, 1830

Happy we who can bask in this warm September sun, which illumines all creatures, as well when they rest as when they toil, not without a feeling of gratitude; whose life is as blameless, how blameworthy soever it may be, on the Lord's Mona-day as on his Suna-day.
Henry David Thoreau (1817 - 1862), American writer; A Week on the Concord and Merrimack Rivers

Grey winter hath gone like a wearisome guest,
 And, behold, for payment,
September comes in with the wind of the West,
 And the Spring in her raiment!
Henry Kendall (1841 - 1882), Australian poet; 'September in Australia'

Though poor and in trouble I wander alone,
With a rebel cockade in my hat;
Though friends may desert me, and kindred disown,
My country will never do that!
You may sing of the Shamrock, the Thistle, and Rose,
Or the three in a bunch if you will;
But I know of a country that gathered all those,
And I love the great land where the Waratah grows,
And the Wattle bough blooms on the hill.
Australia! Australia! so fair to behold
While the blue sky is arching above;
The stranger should never have need to be told,
That the Wattle-bloom means that her heart is of gold,
And the Waratah red blood of love.
Australia! Australia! most beautiful name,
Most kindly and bountiful land;
I would die every death that might save her from shame,
If a black cloud should rise on the strand;
But whatever the quarrel, whoever her foes,
Let them come! Let them come when they will!
Though the struggle be grim, 'tis Australia that knows,
That her children shall fight while the Waratah grows,
And the Wattle blooms out on the hill.

Henry Lawson (1867 - 1922); 'Waratah and Wattle', 1905. Today is Wattle Day in Australia.

So we must fly a rebel flag,
As others did before us,
And we must sing a rebel song
And join in rebel chorus.
We'll make the tyrants feel the sting
O' those that they would throttle;
They needn't say the fault is ours
If blood should stain the wattle!

Henry Lawson; 'Freedom on the Wallaby' (read the context of this poem: the Shearers' Strike of 1891); first published in William Lane's Worker on May 16, 1891. Today is Wattle Day in Australia.


I am one of those fellows who ... always gets to the fire after it is out.
Edgar Rice Burroughs, born on September 1, 1875, American author, creator of Tarzan

I had just left the warmth of a wide circle of friends in Australia to come to this desert island. The contrast was painful. "It will take you ten years to learn the English," said Will Dyson, the Australian cartoonist, whom we found crouching over a sinking fire in a large dark studio, nursing a great grief at the death of his wife. 
  Will, despite his sadness, was a great comfort in the cheerless winter of 1919 - 20. From his early
Bulletin days I had been his great admirer as one of the master caricaturist-cartoonists. Will Dyson had broken up the pattern with his striking Socialist cartoons in the Herald from about 1910 onward, and had led the field during the First World War with his large war cartoons in which the monumental and the satirical had been powerfully blended.

Sir David Low, New Zealand cartoonist, on his arrival in London in 1909, when he made firm friends with Australian cartoonist, Will Dyson, born in September, 1880   Source

The highest result of education is tolerance.
Helen Keller, who graduated from college on September 1, 1904

A time will come when a politician who has wilfully made war and promoted international dissension will be as sure of the dock and much surer of the noose than a private homicide. It is not reasonable that those who gamble with men's lives should not stake their own.
HG Wells, who on September 1, 1939 published The Shape of Things to Come

I am determined to solve (1) the Danzig question; (2) the question of the Corridor; and (3) to see to it that a change is made in the relationship between Germany and Poland that shall ensure a peaceful co-existence.
Adolph Hitler, speech before the Reichstag, Berlin, September 1, 1939  
Source

I sit in one of the dives
On Fifty-second Street
Uncertain and afraid
As the clever hopes expire
Of a low dishonest decade ...

WH Auden, Anglo-American poet; 'September 1, 1939'

Say do you remember dancing in September? Never was a cloudy day.
Earth, Wind & Fire; 'September'

September, I'll remember a love once new has now grown old.
Paul Simon

Fine rain was falling on the gravel and glades,
The last rays of September bejewelled broken blades.
But there's someone that I long for.

Elvis Costello

 

 

 

September 1 is the 244th day of the year in the Gregorian Calendar (245th in leap years), with 121 days remaining.
On the dating of items in the Almanac  Translate this page  Find your birthday star  Daily Everything  NNDB  Time/Date  Google
Calendar converter  Almanacs, calendars, time, dedicated weeks, etc  Almanac screensavers  On this day  Dictionary  I recommend
IMDB days  IMDB years  Wikipedia days  Wiki decades  Wiki centuries  Timelines  Convert weights, measures, etc  Calendrica  Lunabar

When 'Source' links on this page move address or die, I might allow them to stay here, but the Wayback Machine might help you locate the original.

 

 

 

September birthstones: Chrysolite: signifying antidote to madness; sapphire: likewise.

A maiden born when rustling leaves 
Are blowing in the September breeze, 
A Sapphire on her brow should bind, 
'Twill cure diseases of the mind.

Traditional English rhyme

 

 

Pomona, goddess of fruits and fruit treesSeptember

The month of September

 \Sep*tem"ber\, n. [L., fr. septem seven, as being the

seventh month of the Roman year, which began with March: cf.

F. septembre. See {Seven}.]

Source

As the except from the HyperDictionary shows, the name of the calendar month of September derives from its being the seventh month (Latin: Septem, seven) after March, where the Roman calendar's year used to commence. The Roman goddess Pomona, patroness of  fruit and orchards, is the ruling deity of the month.

The Dutch called it Herstmaand (autumn-month), and the Saxons, Gerst-monath (barley-month), or Hærfest-monath (harvest month). After the introduction of Christianity, the Saxons called it Halig-monath, or holy-month, because of the preponderance of feast days in at this stage of the year (the nativity of the Virgin Mary being on September 8, the Exaltation of the Cross on the 14th, Holy-Rood Day on September 26, and Michaelmas, or St Michael's Day, on September 29). In the French Republican calendar it was called Fructidor (fruit-month, August 18 to September 21) ...

Read on at the September page in the Scriptorium

Roman festivals and notable days in the Book of Days    Deities of many cultures in the Book of Days    September poems and lore

 

 

St GilesFeast day of St Giles (Aegidus; Aegidius; Egidio)

(Great sedum, Sedum Telephium, is today's plant, dedicated to this saint.)

Saint Giles (Latin Ægidius) was a 7th - 8th-Century Christian hermit saint, initially in retreats near the mouth of the Rhône and beside the River Gard in France. Considered an important saint, he is one of the Roman Catholic Church's Fourteen Holy Helpers.

He was said to have been noble-born at Athens (probably an embellishment of his early hagiographers) and came to France in about 715 (or 683; sources differ), having given his patrimony to charity. Giles lived for two years with Caesarius, Bishop of Arles, and became a hermit, and so continued till he became abbot at Nîmes in the south of France.


The legend of Giles and the hind

As we saw yesterday with St Aidan, and have discussed at the page on horned animals, the horned god and Christian saints, in the Scriptorium, many saints have a close association with the deer. Giles is no exception, although his deer is of the female variety, a pet hind, or female red deer. The Giles tradition has the following story:

While hunting, the king (by legend an anachronistic Visigoth but who must have been a Frank given the period; some sources say it was Childeric III, who died about 751) shot an arrow into a thorn bush, hoping to hit a deer, but instead wounded the hermit in the knee. Giles remained crippled for life, refusing to be healed so that he could better mortify his flesh.

As he was wounded while protecting his pet hind, it is his symbol in art, together with an arrow in Giles's leg, crippling him (some sources say his hand, which doesn't really suit Giles's patronage of the lame). The animal went daily to the hermit's cave to give him milk, and protected him by causing thick bushes to grow up around the convalescing eremite. (Some versions of the tale say that even before Giles was injured, the hind provided milk for his nourishment.)

The King of France sent doctors to care for saint's wound, and though Giles begged to be left alone, the king came often to see him. He was so grateful and admired Giles so much that he ordered to be built the monastery of Saint Gilles-du-Gard for the saint's followers, and Giles became its first abbot, establishing his own discipline there. A small town of the same name grew up around the monastery. 

There are more intriguing stories about this saint. Once, he raised the son of a prince to life, and made a lame man walk. On another occasion, he cast two doors of cypress into the Tiber River, Rome, and "recommended them to heavenly guidance", as the 19th-century folklorist William Hone put it (Hone, William, The Every-Day Book, or a Guide to the Year, William Tegg and Co., London, 1878). On Giles's return to France he found those doors at the gates of his monastery, and used them as the portals to his church ...

Read on at the Saint Giles page in the Scriptorium

More at Catholic Encyclopedia

 

Find an error or dead link? 
Like to make a suggestion, or just say "G'day"?
Meet me at Corrigenda

 

Click for the Universe today (new window)
Click stars for Universe today

Books, DVDs, calendars, posters, mousemats, T-shirts and more. Sales support this project.
Cafe Diem! Our store



Highly recommended:
Folklore of World Holidays
by Margaret Read MacDonald

 
The Book of Saints

cover
The Encyclopedia of Saints

cover
The Oxford Dictionary of Saints

cover
History of the Devil or The Horned God of the West


Golden Bough
Folklore classic

Pre-order F9/11 now!
cover
Fahrenheit 9/11 DVD or VHS

cover
Outfoxed - Rupert Murdoch's War on Journalism

 


De-Coding Da Vinci


Breaking The Da Vinci Code

cover
Reading Lolita in Tehran


Internet Sacred Text Archive CD-ROM

cover
The New Book of Goddesses & Heroines


The Spiral Dance
By Starhawk
20th Anniversary Edition


Eats, Shoots & Leaves


Uluru

cover
Encyclopedia of Ancient Asian Civilizations


Life in a Medieval Village

 

To support this project
Search by keywords for books, music, computers, software, home and family products and much more.

 

 Click for Poster Store, or use the seach box to find your subject

Search for posters


What Would Jefferson Do?
By Thom Hartmann


When Corporations Rule the World


The Big Buy - Tom Delay's Stolen Congress


The Corporation
Highly recommended DVD


Shaking the Foundations: 200 Years of Investigative Journalism in America
By Bruce Shapiro


Remotely Controlled: How Television Is Damaging Our Lives and What We Can Do About It


What Would Jefferson Do?
By Thom Hartmann


How Mumbo-Jumbo Conquered the World


Songs in the Key of W


Pagan Christianity


The Chronicles of Narnia Boxed Set
By CS Lewis


Hello Laziness!
By Corrine Maier


For God and Country: Faith and Patriotism Under Fire
By James Yee


Crimes Against Nature : How George W Bush and His Corporate Pals Are Plundering the Country and Hijacking Our Democracy
By Robert F Kennedy, Jr


The Skeptic's Dictionary


Sex, Time, & Power


Medieval Celebrations


Women's Activism and Globalization


The Atlas of Holy Places and Sacred Sites


Secrets and Lies


The Clash of Civilizations


Imperial Crusades


Aborigine Dreaming


The Medieval Cookbook

cover
The Field: The Quest for the Secret Force of the Universe


The Murray Bookchin Reader


Environmental Activism

Astro pic of the day


American Folklore


Permaculture


Dame Edna Everage and the Rise of Western Civilisation: Backstage With Barry Humphries


Sun Goddess


African Folklore

Lots of things to waste time each day
Daily Everything


A Treasury of Irish Myth, Legend, and Folklore


The Edible Asian Garden


The Secret Language of Birthdays


Live with Passion!
Anthony Robbins


Your purchases at Cafe Diem help keep this project alive
More books, calendars, T-shirts, mugs, music, posters, etc at
 
Cafe Diem!

cover
Celtic Daily Prayer


Hidden Agendas


Poor Richard's Almanack
By Benjamin Franklin

Photo of the day
National Geographic's Photo of the Day

cover
Mother Earth Spirituality


Wheel of the Year


The Oxford Dictionary of Phrase and Fable


The Survival of the Pagan Gods


Click to promote 
your blog or website 
another excellent 
way we do

 


Wattle Day, Australia


This here is the wattle,
emblem of our land.
You can stick it in a bottle,
you can hold it in your hand.

Monty Python's Flying Circus, Episode 22

 

Read and hear more of this sketch, below

 

(Including 'The Drinking Song of the Department of Philosophy of the University of Woolloomooloo')

Formerly August 1, Wattle Day was gazetted for September 1 by the Paul Keating Government in 1992. The wattle may be one of many species available, and it is said that across Australia, on any day of the year there is at least one species flowering.

The flower loved by Australians (except allergy sufferers) was so named because the early British and Irish settlers used wooden slats and sticks of these Acacia trees to make their wattle-and-daub huts*, being made of clay spread over light timbers in the style of the old country, or 'Home' as it was known for many years in the colony. 

 

 Australia's colours are green and gold, due to the popularity of the plant and its frequent presence in the Australian bush alongside the omnipresent gumtrees (Eucalyptus spp).

On September 1, 1988, Governor General Sir Ninian Stephen proclaimed Golden wattle, Acacia pycnantha, Australia's national floral emblem

 

 

 

 

* From 'The Lake Isle of Inishfree'

By William Butler Yeats


I will arise and go now 
and go to Inishfree 
and a small cabin build there 
of clay and wattles made. 
Nine bean-rows will I have there, 
a hive for the honey-bee, 
and live alone in the bee-loud glade. 


Wattle 'nymphs' – art photography from 1921    Henry Lawson and 'blood on the wattle'

 

"On September 20, 1889 William Sowden, later to be knighted, an Adelaide journalist and Vice President of the Australian Natives Association in South Australia suggested the formation of a Wattle Blossom League. Its aims, set down in 1890, were to "promote a national patriotic sentiment among the woman of Australia". One way of doing this was to wear sprigs of wattle on all official occasions. After an enthusiastic start the group folded. However, their presence inspired the formation of a Wattle Club in Melbourne. During the 1890s parties were led into the country on September 1 each year to view the wattles.

"The concept of Wattle Day grew stronger and spread to NSW where the Director of the Botanic Gardens, J H Maiden called a public meeting on August 20, 1909 with the aim of forming a Wattle Day League. As a result of this meeting the first Wattle day was held on September 1, 1910 in Sydney, Melbourne and Adelaide. On that day the Adelaide committee sent sprigs of Acacia pycnantha to the Governor and other notables in Adelaide. It was this wattle that become accepted as the official floral emblem."

"Celebration of Wattle Day reached its height during World War 1. The day was used to raise funds for the war effort and many trees were denuded in order to supply the many sprigs of wattle sold on that day. Boxes of wattle were sent to soldiers in hospitals overseas and it become a custom to enclose a sprig of wattle with each letter to remind our soldiers of home ..."

***

"On the day of the first Wattle Day celebration in 1910, the Sydney Morning Herald wrote: 'Let the wattle henceforth be a sacred charge to every Australian.'"
Source: Blood on the wattle

 

First day of Spring

 

Australians call September 1 the first day of Spring, just as March 1 is the first of Autumn, December 1 is the first of Summer and June 1 is the beginning of Winter. The custom dates back to early colonial times and has to do with the dates on which uniforms were issued to the British guards of the convict colony. See also Spring Equinox in the Book of Days for folklore, etc, as that is the true first day of the season.

 

 

September, Australia: Australian magpie Magpies nesting and swooping passers-by

Read on at the September page in the Scriptorium

 

 

Genesia, ancient Greece
A day for the dead. 
Source: The Phoenix and Arabeth 1992 Calendar

Kalends of September, ancient Rome

Celtic tree month of Coll ends

Feast day of St Abigail

Feast day of St Anna the Prophetess

Feast day of St Beatrice da Silva

Feast day of St Constantius

 

Feast day of St Drythelm (Drithelm, Dritheim)

"He was a monk of the abbey of Melrose in the Scottish border country, and died in about 700. When living as a layman in Ayrshire he underwent a 'near death' experience, from which he recovered, and which terrified those who had come to mourn him. The experience brought about a change of life; he divided his property between his wife, his sons, and the poor, and joined the Melrose community. He was also influenced by a vision which he saw on the life of the beyond, which he was to write down, amid which was to be the earliest of its kind in these islands. In its complex understanding of the divisions of hell, purgatory and paradise, it anticipated the much more famous 'Divine Comedy' of Dante written some 600 years later. Drythelm's monastic life style was extremely austere; he would stand in the waters of the River Tweed even in the depths of winter reciting the psalms, for example. Although no cult of him ever really developed, the Venerable Bede gives a full account of his life in his 'Ecclesiastical History' and the popularity of the History was in part due to the prominence given to this now obscure saint from the North."   Source

More   See also St Patrick's Purgatory, and Thurkill's Vision, in the Book of Days

 


Feast day of St Fiaker
(Ireland and France), anchoret, called by the French Fiacre, and anciently, Fefre

Patron saint of gardeners, celebrated on September 1 in Ireland and France, but August 30 in the official Roman Catholic calendar. His patronage also includes barrenness, box makers, fistula, florists, haemorrhoids, hosiers, pewterers, taxi drivers, sterility, tile makers and venereal disease. His emblem is a spade, and he may be depicted as a man carrying a spade and a basket of vegetables beside him, surrounded by pilgrims and blessing the sick. His shrines were very popular for the cure of piles (haemorrhoids).

He had the gift of healing by laying on his hands; blindness, polypus, and fevers are mentioned by the old records, and especially a tumour or fistula since called 'le fic de S Fiacre'. Because the Hotel de Saint Fiacre in Paris, France, rented carriages, the cabs became known as 'Fiacre cabs', and eventually just as 'fiacres'. Similarly, Viennese horse-drawn buggies are referred to as 'Fiakers'.

"… he established a hermitage in a cave near a spring, and was given land for his hermitage by Saint Faro of Meaux, who was bishop at the time. Fiacre asked for land for a garden for food and healing herbs. The bishop said Fiacre could have as much land as he could entrench in one day. The next morning Fiacre walked around the perimeter of the land he wanted, dragged his spade behind him. Wherever the spade touched, trees were toppled, bushes uprooted, and the soil was entrenched. A local woman heard of this, and claimed sorcery was involved, but the bishop decided it was a miracle. This garden, miraculously obtained, became a place of pilgrimage for centuries for those seeking healing."   Source

 

Feast day of St Firminus II, Bishop of Amiens

Feast day of St Gideon 

Feast day of another St Giles
Italian hermit of the tenth century, not the saint discussed above.

Feast day of Blessed Giles
Yet another Giles, (d. about 1203) a Cistercian abbot of Castaneda in the Diocese of Astorga, Spain.

Feast day of St Jane Soderini

Feast day of St Joshua

Feast day of St Juliana of Collalto

Feast day of St Lupus, or Leu, archbishop of Sens

Feast day of St Michael Ghebre

St Partridge's Day, UK
Today is when the partridge shooting season begins (ends February 1). This is a mythical saint, invented in jocularity.

What on earth brings you here, old fellow? Why aren't you in the stubbles celebrating St Partridge?
Robert Elsmere, Mrs Humphrey Ward, ch. Xlviii

We can see from Elsmere that shooters were allowed to cross fields once the harvest was in.

Feast day of St Terentian

Feast day of Twelve Brothers, martyrs

Click for Eastern Orthodox liturgical days    Shop saints

Late August, Early September, Freeing the Insects, Japan

Bonnat Pig Fair
"On the Plateau de la Marche, in a quintessentially rural French village, the first of September every year is given over to everything and anything porcine. Some 5000 people attend, mostly to see pigs exhibited and awarded prizes, and for trade purposes - you could even buy one yourself if you have a bit of room in your car.

"Alternatively, if you think pigs are best off cooked, partake of some Porcelet à la broche (roasted piglet on a spit), washed down with some of the vin d'honneur (a delicious oaky white, from an area justly famed for it). There will also be music, dancing and friendly folk."   Source

Hog Days, Kewanee, Illinois, USA
"There are supposed to be 60,000 attendees at this fete, which features, of course, a beauty pageant for little girls, a tractor pull, and "professional entertainment," among other activities that seem to be requisite for this sort of event."   Source

Yatzuo Kaze-No-Bon or Wind Bon Event, Nei-Gun, Toyama Prefecture, Japan (Sep 1 - 3)
A celebration dating back to the days when it was believed the typhoon season was directed by an evil deity, so the people danced to appease him. Now it is held simply as a fun day of celebration, indoors and outside in the streets.

Orchid Exhibition, Blumenau, Brazil (till Sep 8)

Festival of the Soul, Syria

Sunrise dance, Apache (Aug 31- Sep 3)
The sunrise dance is a puberty ceremony – or na'ii'ees ('preparing her,' or 'getting her ready') – for young women.

Jour d'Union Nationale Camerounaise, Cameroon

Labour Day, Canada (first Monday in September) A note about the dating of items in Wilson's Almanac 

Teachers' Day, China

Teacher's Day, Singapore

National Day, Libya

Presidential Message Day, Mexico

Knowledge Day, Russia

Settlers' Day, South Africa

Heroes' Day, Tanzania

Constitution Day, Slovakia

Independence Day, Uzbekistan (from USSR, 1991)

In the Harry Potter books September 1, the day on which the Hogwarts Express departs from Platform 9¾, always falls on a Sunday; this means that the first day of lessons is always a Monday.

In the Eastern Orthodox Church, the new liturgical year begins on September 1. Also see September 1 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics).

First week in September, National Poetry Week, Australia

 

 

 

On which day of the week were you born? Find out here

1653 Johann Pachelbel (d. 1706), German composer

1825 William Paling (d. August 27, 1895), Australian musician, merchant, philanthropist and founder of the successful Paling's chain of music stores

1835 William Stanley Jevons (d. August 13, 1882), English logician and economist, one of the founders of neoclassical economics. He expounded in his book The Theory of Political Economy (1871) the 'final' (marginal) utility theory of value. Jevons's work, along with similar discoveries made by Carl Menger in Vienna (1871) and by Léon Walras in Switzerland (1874), marked the opening of a new period in the history of economic thought. He left England for Sydney, Australia in June, 1854, and remained there for five years, working at the Sydney Mint.

"He broke off his studies of natural sciences at University College in 1854 to take a job in Sydney in Australia. He was offered a position as an assayer at the new Australian mint. This involved determining the characteristics such as weight, measure, or quality of the coinage, and Jevons was offered the post because of his already impressive abilities at chemistry. He probably would not have been interested in such a post before he had completed his degree had his family not been in financial difficulties. His father's business had collapsed in 1848 and the attractively paid post in Sydney was too tempting for him to refuse since it allowed him to contribute substantially to his family's finances.

"In Australia he had much leisure time, and little to occupy that time, so the five years he spent there were important ones for his mental development."   Source

1854 Engelbert Humperdinck (d. 1921), German composer (Hänsel und Gretel; Moorish Rhapsody)

1864 Sir Roger Casement, Irish nationalist, executed by the British for his part in an attempted Irish revolution

1875 Edgar Rice Burroughs (d. 1950), American writer, creator of Tarzan in Tarzan of the Apes

"So the story goes, Edgar Rice Burroughs was sitting in his rented office and waiting for his crack pencil sharpener salesmen to report in, supposedly their pockets bulging with orders. Besides waiting, one of Burroughs' duties was to verify the placement of advertisements for his sharpeners in various magazines. These were all-fiction 'pulp' magazines, a prime source of escapist reading material for the rapidly expanding middle class. Verifying the pencil sharpener ads didn't exactly take much time. The pencil sharpener salesmen never showed up, so Burroughs spent his idle time reading those pulp magazines. And an idea was born."   Source

 

Will Dyson cartoon: George Bernard Shaw mocks Hillaire Belloc in a Fabian Society meeting.1880 Will Dyson (d. January 21, 1938), radical Australian artist and cartoonist associated with Sydney's The Bulletin in its heyday, Melbourne Punch and Adelaide's Critic. He was a brother of Edward Dyson (1865 - 1931) and husband of Ruby Lindsay (b. 1885), who died on March 12, 1919, in the Spanish flu pandemic (Dyson suffered a nervous breakdown over this tragedy).

Will Dyson was born the ninth of eleven children, sometime in September, actual date not known. In 1909 he set sail to London where he immediately found work with the Weekly Dispatch. He joined London's Daily Herald (formerly a strike sheet called The World) in 1911 and enjoyed popularity in Britain. 

Like Arthur Streeton, and despite being active in local socialist circles, he was an Australian official war artist in WWI (in fact, he was the first), and was wounded twice; the first six months he did it without pay because of his opposition to the war but also out of a sense of duty to help defend the people of Belgium and France who had been invaded. Dyson portrayed the soldiers and victims of war with great sympathy. The fact that Dyson had volunteered his services to the Australian government led to the creation of the War Artists program.

"When the strike ended in April the printers stopped publishing their newspaper. However, the striking printers had shown that there was a market for a left-wing newspaper and several leaders of the labour movement, including George Lansbury and Ben Tillett, joined together to raise the necessary funds. The Daily Herald reappeared on 15th April, 1912, and Will Dyson was recruited as the newspaper's cartoonist. His editor, Charles Lapworth, gave him a full page and complete freedom on how to fill it. Dyson's cartoons created a sensation. He was acclaimed by one critic as the best cartoonist seen in Britain since James Gillray. Sometimes they were so powerful that the editor decided to let it take over the whole of the front page.

"The Daily Herald fully supported the actions of the women fighting for the vote. Dyson agreed with this policy. In his native Australia, women had the vote since 1893 [sic: see this]. Dyson felt very strongly about this issue and produced a series of cartoons attacking the way the government was treating the suffragettes."   Source

Ghost of Emily DavisonAfter the war one of his most famous cartoons had British Prime Minister David Lloyd George shouting at a wounded soldier: "You've won, you've won, my brave and incomparable fellow – vote for me." Dyson worked for other publications as well, including the New Age and London Mercury. Gradually, the Daily Herald moved towards the right in order to attract advertising, and a disillusioned Will Dyson returned to Australia in 1925, where he worked on the formerly lively Melbourne Punch, which had been bought by the conservative  Herald & Weekly Times (owned by Keith Murdoch, father of Rupert Murdoch) in 1924 and was killed off in 1926 and renamed Table Talk. Dyson's work declined, perhaps in part because of the decline of the journals he worked on.

On ANZAC Day, 2003, a small ceremony took place at a London cemetery, where Dyson's unmarked and unkempt grave was restored more than 50 years after his death, and his beloved wife Ruby's grave was given a new headstone.

"In 1910 Dyson was married to Ruby Lindsay, a member of the well-known family of artists. They then went to London where Dyson was employed on the Weekly Despatch. He also drew some coloured cartoons for Vanity Fair signed 'Emu', and later began to contribute to the labour paper the Daily Herald. His cartoons became famous and had much influence in establishing the paper. In 1914 he published Cartoons, a selection from his work in its pages. In January 1915 appeared Kultur Cartoons, and later in the year he became an Australian official artist at the front. He was not concerned about finding safe vantage points and was twice wounded in 1917. Exhibitions of his war cartoons were held in London, and in November 1918 he published Australia at War, which contains some of his finest drawings. In March 1919, to his great grief, his wife died. In the following year he published a selection of her work The Drawings of Ruby Lind accompanied by a little volume Poems in Memory of a Wife (dated 1919). In 1925 he was given a large salary to return to Australia to work on the staff of the Melbourne Herald and Punch, and stayed for five years. He returned to London by way of New York, where he had a successful show of his dry-points, and he held a similar exhibition in London in December 1930 which attracted much attention. He resumed his connexion with the Daily Herald and contributed cartoons to it until his death. He had become interested in the Douglas Credit theory, and in 1933 published Artist Among the Bankers with 19 of his own illustrations."   Source

Pictured, two Will Dyson cartoons: Top, George Bernard Shaw mocks Hillaire Belloc in a Fabian Society meeting. Bottom, the ghost of suffragette Emily Davison who was famously killed at the Epsom Derby when trying to pull up a racehorse owned by King George V.

 

Lawson & Co: associations with Henry and Louisa Lawson    Prescient cartoon

Australian fiction book covers (features a Dyson)

Will Dyson: Cartoonist, etcher, and Australia's finest war artist by Ross McMullin

Cartoonists of the early Sydney Bulletin    Shop Will Dyson    More

 

 

1887 Blaise Cendrars (d. 1961), writer

1888 Andrija Štampar (d. 1958), physician, WHO diplomat

1896 AC Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupada (d. November 14, 1977), Indian-born founder of the International Society for Krishna Consciousness (popularly known as the 'Hare Krishnas')

1906 Joaquin Balaguer, Dominican politician and president

1907 Walter Reuther (d. 1970), American trade union leader

1913 Christian Nyby (d. 1993), director, film editor

1920 Richard Farnsworth (d. 2000), actor

1921 Willem Frederik Hermans (d. 1995), Dutch writer

1922 Yvonne De Carlo (Margaret [or Peggy] Yvonne Middleton; d. January 8, 2007), American actress, perhaps best known for playing Lily Muster in The Munsters TV series. (The Ten Commandments; Salome Where She Danced)

1922 Melvin Laird, US government official

1922 Vittorio Gassman (d. 2000), Italian actor

1928 George Maharis, actor

1933 Conway Twitty (born Harold Jenkins; d. 1993), American country music singer ('It's Only Make Believe')

1933 Ann W Richards, Texas politician

1935 Seiji Ozawa, conductor

1939 Lily Tomlin, American comic actress

 

1946 Barry Gibb, Anglo-Australian singer/songwriter, eldest of the Bee Gees

"For the brothers Gibb, singing in harmony is as natural as breathing. They began performing when Barry was 9 and twins Robin and Maurice were 6, singing hits of the day at a local cinema. After the Gibb family emigrated to Australia, the brothers achieved stardom as a teen pop group, earning their first number one in 1966 with Spicks and Speck, They used the money from that hit to finance their return to England where they hooked up with impresario Robert Stigwood. The first four UK Bee Gees albums contained a stream of hit singles (1941 New York Mining Disaster, Massachusetts, To Love Somebody, Holiday, Gotta Get a Message to you, I Started a Joke, Lonely Days, How Can You Mend a Broken Heart). At the same time, Bee Gees songs were being recorded by some of their idols including Elvis Presley, Sarah Vaughan, Al Green and Janis Joplin."   Source

More (Careful: huge download)

1949 PA Sangma, Indian politician

1952 Phil Hendrie, radio personality

1957 Gloria Estefan, singer

1965 Craig McLachlan, Australian actor, played in soaps Home and Away and Neighbours

1985 Ciara-Camile Roque Velasco, singer

 

Phew!! Have a rest before the big This day in history section

You never know who you might meet when you click here


Send a free e-card greeting for today's celebrations to a loved one

Do you forget birthdays and anniversaries? Schedule your cards to be sent during the coming year.


Virgo free zodiac astrology e-cards
Zodiac birthday
Free astrology e-cards
Uzbekistan free e-cards
Independence Day
(Uzbekistan)
[ Sep 1 ]



Birthday free e-cards
Birthdays
Labor Day USA, free e-cards
Labor Day, USA
[ 1st Monday in Sep  ]
Flowers of September free e-cards
Flower Of The Month
[ September ]


Varies Full Moon Day
Varies Friday the 13th
Varies Hindu holidays
Varies Janmashtami
Varies Ganesh Chaturthi
Varies Onam
1st Sunday in Sep
Fathers' Day (Australia)
1st Monday in Sep Labor Day (USA and Canada)

Labor Day [ Sep 4 ]
Back To School [ Aug - Sep ]

August

30 Toasted Marshmallow Day
31 Eat Outside Day

September

1 Cherry Popover Day
3 Football Day
5 Labor Day
5 Be Late For Something Day
5 Teachers' Day (India)
5 Cheese Pizza Day
6 Coffee Ice Cream Day
7
Do It Day
9
Teddy Bear Day
9 Hot Dog Day
11
Grandparents Day
12
Chocolate Milkshake Day
13 Positive Thinking Day
13 Programmers' Day

13 Peanut Day
13 Helicopter Day
14 Cream-filled Donut Day
14 Triumph Of The Holy Cross

14 Cream-filled Donut Day
15 Central American Independence Day
16 Independence Day (Mexico)
16 Collect Rocks Day
16 Mayflower Day
16 Spud Day (Idaho)
16 Wife Appreciation Day
16 Working Parents Day

17 Women's Friendship Day
17 God Bless America Day
17 Citizenship Day

18 Women's Friendship Day
19 Thank You Day
20 Student Day
21 International Day Of Peace

22 Ice Cream Cone Day
22
Autumnal Equinox / Spring Equinox
22 American Business Women's Day
22 Native American Day
23 Chocolate Day

  ... More Events

Visit the Blogmanac, where today's Almanac is 'live'
And I hope you will sign my GuestMap


Your family and friends will get a kick when they hear their own name being sung in 'Happy Birthday'!!
You can schedule your singing cards in advance, and even add your own face to funny animations. (Pay cards)

 

 

Gifts, books, software, DVDs, videos, music, computers and more - all supporting our research and the Almanac

 



 

If you are enjoying this page, click to receive similar items daily with a free subscription to Wilson's Almanac ezine

Webmaster, webmasters free content, or else articles at very reasonable rates
Pip Wilson's articles are available for your website or publication, on application. Further details

 

5509 BCE The world was created, according to the Byzantine Empire.

327 Start of first indiction cycle, a Roman tax cycle of 15 years declared by Constantine the Great. It's of interest to historians, as dates often were recorded using this cycle. It is also used in establishing the epoch for the Julian day.

921 Death of Richard of Autun, Duke of Burgundy.

1159 Death of Pope Adrian IV, the only English pope.

1574 Death of Guru Amar Das, Third Sikh Guru.

1581 Death of Guru Ram Das, 4th Sikh Guru/Master.

1640 "A treaty agreement cover land cessions between the Mohegan and Connecticut will be reached today."   Source

1715 King Louis XIV of France died after a reign of 72 years — longer than any other French or other major European monarch, leaving the throne of his exhausted and indebted country to his great-grandson Louis XV. The regent for the new, five-year-old monarch was Philippe d'Orléans, nephew of Louis XIV.

1729 Death of Sir Richard Steele (b. 1672), Irish writer and politician, co-founder (with Joseph Addison) of The Spectator. Steele was buried in St Peter's Church, Carmarthen, Wales. During restoration of the church in 2000, his skull was discovered in a lead casket, having previously been accidentally disinterred during the 1870s.

1772 The Mission San Luis Obispo de Tolosa was founded in San Luis Obispo, California, USA.

1804 Juno, one of the largest main belt asteroids, was discovered by German astronomer Karl Ludwig Harding.

1807 Former US Vice President Aaron Burr was acquitted of treason. He had been accused of plotting to annex parts of Louisiana and Mexico to become part of an independent republic.

1830 The poem Mary's Little Lamb was published in Boston, USA, by Sarah Josepha Hale (1788 - 1879).

1836 USA: Narcissa Whitman, one of the first white women to settle west of the Rocky Mountains, arrived at Walla Walla, Washington.

1862 American Civil War: Battle of ChantillyConfederate General Robert E Lee led his forces in an attack on retreating Union troops in Chantilly, Virginia, driving them away.

1864 American Civil War: Confederate General John Bell Hood evacuated Atlanta, Georgia after a four month siege mounted by Union General William T Sherman.

1866 "Manuelito and twenty-three of his Navajo followers surrender to the army at Fort Wingate."   Source

1875 A murder conviction effectively forced the violent Irish anti-owner coal miners, the 'Molly Maguires', to disband.

1894 Great Hinckley Fire: A forest fire in Hinckley, Minnesota, USA, killed more than 400 people.

1894 Australia: Radical pastoral union activist Samuel 'Frenchy' Hoffmeister and 16 others burned down the shearing shed with 140 sheep in it, at Dagworth Station, Queensland, and the sad events told in 'Waltzing Matilda', Australia's national song, began to unfold.

Lawson & Co: associations with Henry and Louisa Lawson

1897 The Boston subway opened, becoming the first underground metro in North America.

1904 Helen Keller, 24, blind and deaf since the age of two, graduated from Radcliffe College, Cambridge, Massachusetts, USA.

1905 Alberta and Saskatchewan joined the Canadian confederation.

 

1914 USA: The last Passenger pigeon (Ectopistes migratorius), named Martha after the wife of George Washington, died in the Cincinnati Zoo. At one time, the population of this Northern Hemisphere bird might have numbered five billion, and some sources say nine. It was certainly the most populous bird in the Americas, and probably the world.

Passenger pigeonsOne 19th-Century observer watched as they flew overhead in a mass that darkened the whole sky for hours. By calculating the speed of their flight he estimated that the flock was one mile wide and 240 miles long. Alexander Wilson, the father of scientific ornithology in America, estimated that one flock consisted of two billion birds. In Kentucky, Wilson's rival, John James Audubon, watched a flock pass overhead for three days and estimated that at times more than 300 million pigeons flew by him each hour.

Passenger pigeons were shot for food, and untold thousands were shot for 'sport'. In one competition, a participant had to kill 30,000 pigeons just to be considered for a prize. In 1896, almost all of the remaining quarter million passenger pigeons were killed in a single day by sport hunters, who knew they were shooting the last wild flock.

Lots more on these fascinating birds    Passenger Pigeon Society    More    Images

Listen to John Herald's song, Martha, Last of the Passenger Pigeons

 

1914 St Petersburg, Russia had its name changed to Petrograd.

1920 The state of Lebanon was created by the French, with Beirut its capital.

 

Kanto poster, opens in new window1923 The 1923 Great Kanto Earthquake and Fire: An earthquake followed by many fires devastated Tokyo and Yokohama, Japan, killing more than 140,000 people. More than 694,000 houses were partially or completely destroyed.

In 1960, September 1 was designated as Disaster Prevention Day to commemorate the earthquake and remind people of the importance of preparation.  

"More than 200 aftershocks followed the 7.9 main event on Sept. 1st. On Sept. 2nd, an excess of 300 shocks were recorded, including a major event at 11:47 a.m. More than 300 additional shocks would follow from September 3-5 ...

"No less ferocious in nature than the earthquake itself was the conflagration that followed. When the earthquake struck, coal or charcoal cooking stoves were in use throughout Tokyo and Yokohama in preparation for the noon-time meal and fires sprang up everywhere within moments of the quake. Improper storage of chemicals and fuel further contributed to the holocaust. In Yokohama alone, 88 separate fires began to burn simultaneously and the city was quickly engulfed in flames that raged for two days. Although the recorded wind speed was lower in Yokohama than in Tokyo, fire-induced wind spawned numerous cyclones, which further spread the flames. In Tokyo, the wind reached speeds of 17.9 miles per hour and became the chief obstacle to containing the fire. Temperatures soared to 86 degrees Fahrenheit late into the night. 

"The casualties from the fires are a horrifying combination of people who were trapped in collapsed buildings and those who took refuge in areas that were later surrounded and consumed by fire. The greatest loss of life occurred at the Military Clothing Depot in Honjo Ward, where many of the refugees had gathered. Most of them carried clothing, bedrolls, and furniture rescued from their homes. These materials served as a ready fuel source, and the engulfing flames suffocated an estimated 40,000 people ...

"Records of earthquake activity have been kept in Japan for centuries. Prior to 1923, the most serious in terms of loss of life was the Feb. 10, 1792 Hizen earthquake, which coincided with the eruption of Unzendake. 15,000 people were killed. Other major events include the Shinano, Echigo quake of May 8, 1844, in which 12,000 people perished, and the Dec. 31, 1703 quake which struck Mushashi, Sagami, Awa, and Kazusa and generated a tsunami. 5,233 died."   Source

List of earthquakes    Online exhibition    Earthquake prediction

 

1928 Ahmet Zogu declared Albania to be a monarchy and proclaimed himself king. That's the way it's done.

1933 HG Wells published The Shape of Things to Come.

1939 World War II: Polish September Campaign – A million of Nazi Germany's troops invaded Poland, sparking World War II. By September 29 Warsaw was in German hands.

1948 Communist Party Chairman Mao Zedong set up a provisional government in China.

1951 The United States, Australia and New Zealand all signed a mutual defense pact, creatively called the ANZUS Treaty.

1951 The Premier, Britain's first supermarket, opened.

1960 Disgruntled railroad workers effectively halted operations of the Pennsylvania Railroad, marking the first shutdown in the history of the company (the event lasted 2 days).

1969 Moammar Qaddafi staged a coup in Libya.

1970 USA: The last episode of the television sitcom I Dream of Jeannie aired on NBC. The show premiered on September 18, 1965.

1972 In Reykjavik, Iceland, American Bobby Fischer beat Russian Boris Spassky and became the first American to be world champion chess  player.

Maggie's Farm1979 Australia: The first edition of Maggie's Farm magazine went on sale, founded by your almanackist one sunny day, and edited in its first 20 editions by him and Robyn Arianrhod.

Its purpose was exemplified by its motto 'Participation Press'. That is, in a move anticipating open source, it published material (articles, poems, photos, etc) submitted by its readers. Founded with $50 and 30 days' credit at a printer (Bellinger Courier-Sun), the magazine locally sold out 1,000 copies of the first issue, and before long was circulating 4,500 in virtually every newsagency in Australia. The magazine, transmogrified into something appealing, but not 'participation press', ran for another seven years under the editorship of my mate Paul White. Other titles I considered: Yellow Delaney and Runcible Spoon. Pictured at right, a cover photo.

1979 The American Pioneer 11 became the first spacecraft to visit Saturn when it passed the planet at a distance of 21,000 km.

1980 Terry Fox, a young Canadian with one artificial leg, finished a 4,800 km run across the continent, raising Can$24 million. Near Thunder Bay, Ontario, he collapsed and soon found he had cancer in his lungs. On June 28, 1981, a month before his 23rd birthday, Fox succumbed to his cancer. He has become a national hero in Canada and an annual Terry Fox Run is held in his honour.

The Terry Fox Run

1983 Cold War: Korean Air Flight KAL-007 was shot down by a Soviet Union jet fighter when the commercial aircraft entered Soviet airspace. All 269 on board died.

1985 The wreck of the RMS Titanic was discovered by a joint American-French expedition 12,460 feet below the icy waters of the North Atlantic Ocean.

1991 The Super Nintendo Entertainment System was released in North America.

2001 In the largest media market change in North American television history, every single commercial television station in Vancouver, British Columbia switched network affiliations after a round of ownership changes in 2000.

2003 BBC News reported that Senua, a previously unrecognised Romano-British goddess, found by metal detectorist Alan Meek in September 2002, had been identified. The hoard in which the goddess was found was acquired by the British Museum. Her imagery shows evidence of syncretism between a pre-Roman goddess with the Roman Minerva.

New Roman goddess found
"
A new Romano-British goddess called Senua has been identified among a buried hoard of gold and silver. 

"The goddess was part of a hoard discovered near Baldock, in Hertfordshire, the British Museum revealed on Monday. 

Previously unheard of in the Roman world, she is believed to be a British version of the popular Roman deity Minerva, associated with wisdom, the crafts, healing and springs such as the spa at Bath. 

British Museum specialist Ralph Jackson said: "Senua might have been likened to Minerva for any one or more of these perceived powers."   Source

Deities of many cultures in the Book of Days    Senua, the lost goddess    Senua at Wikipedia

Goddess calendar in the Scriptorium    Senua: A modern Pagan offering to a rediscovered goddess

2005 Hurricane Katrina: Four days after landfall, federal government finally requested help from airline industry to evacuate Katrina victims. The Department of Homeland Security finally called the Air Transport Association and asked if the group could participate in an airlift of refugees.

The US Navy announced it had hired Halliburton Energy Services to "restore electric power, repair roofs and remove debris at three naval facilities in Mississippi damaged by Hurricane Katrina. No mention was made of whether the contract was bid out, but due to the limited time-frame, competitive bidding was unlikely.

Rescues by California swift water rescue teams halted Hundreds of people in Orleans and Jefferson parishes were rescued by swift water rescue teams from California. However, at the end of the day, FEMA halted further rescues due to supposed security concerns, though no security incidents involving the teams were reported by CNN journalist Rick Sanchez who was embedded with the teams during the rescues.

Hurricane Katrina timeline    http://del.icio.us/almanac/katrina

 

Tomorrow: Half-hanged Maggy; Great Fire of London

 

 Main calendar | Yesterday | Tomorrow | Search

fnord norton

 

Bruces

 

The Bruces from Monty Python Live at City Center and Monty Python Live at the 
Hollywood Bowl, etc.

Including 'The Drinking Song of the Department of Philosophy of the University of Woolloomooloo'

Listen to song in mp3
 
Bruce: G'day, Bruce!
Bruce: Oh, Hello Bruce!
Bruce: How are you Bruce?
Bruce: A bit crooked, Bruce.
Bruce: Where's Bruce?
Bruce: He's not 'ere, Bruce.
Bruce: Blimey, it's hot in here, Bruce.
Bruce: Hot enough to boil a monkey's bum!
Bruce: That's a strange expression, Bruce.
Bruce: Well Bruce, I heard the Prime Minister use it. "It's hot enough to boil
       a monkey's bum in here, your Majesty," he said and she smiled quietly
       to herself.
Bruce: She's a good Sheila Bruce, and not at all stuck up.
Bruce: Here! Here's the boss-fellow now!
Bruce: 'Ow  are you, Bruce?
Bruce: G'day Bruce!
Bruce: Bruce.
Bruce: Hello Bruce.
Bruce: Bruce.
Bruce: How are you, Bruce?
Bruce: G'day Bruce.
Bruce: Gentleman, I'd like to introduce man from Pommeyland who is joinin'
       us this year in the philosophy department at the University of
       Wooloomooloo.
Everybruce: G'day!
Michael Baldwin: Hello.
Bruce: Michael Baldwin, Bruce. Michael Baldwin, Bruce. Michael Baldwin, Bruce.
Bruce: Is your name not Bruce?
Michael: No, it's Michael.
Bruce: That's going to cause a little confusion.
Bruce: Mind if we call you "Bruce" to keep it clear?
Bruce: Gentlemen, I think we better start the faculty meeting. Before we 
       start, though, I'd like to ask the padre for a prayer.
Bruce: Oh Lord, we beseech Thee, Amen!!
Everybruce: Amen!
Bruce: Crack tube! (Bottles opening)
Bruce: Now I call upon Bruce to officially welcome Mr. Baldwin to the
       philosophy faculty.
Bruce: I'd like to welcome the pommey bastard to God's own Earth, and remind
       him that we don't like stuck-up sticky-bates here.
Everybruce: Hear, hear! Well spoken, Bruce!
Bruce: Bruce here teaches classical philosophy, Bruce there teaches Haegelian
       philosophy, and Bruce here teaches logical positivism. And is also
       in charge of the sheep dip.
Bruce: What's New-Bruce going to teach?
Bruce: New-Bruce will be teaching political science, Machiavelli, Benton,
       Lockholm, Sackly, Millbo, Hasset, and Bernerd.
Bruce: Those are all cricketers!
Bruce: Aww, spit!
Bruce: Hails of derisive laughter, Bruce!
Everybruce: Australia, Australia, Australia, Australia, we love you amen!
Bruce: Another two! (Bottles opening)
Bruce: Any questions?
Bruce: New-Bruce, are you a Poofter?
Bruce: Are you a Poofter?
New-Bruce: No!
Bruce: No. Right, I just want to remind you of the faculty rules:
         Rule One! (Everybruce) No Poofters!
         Rule Two, no member of the faculty is to maltreat the Abbos in any
         way at all -- if there's anybody watching.
         Rule Three? (Everybruce) No Poofters!!
         Rule Four, now this term, I don't want to catch anybody not drinking.
         Rule Five, (Everybruce) No Poofters!
         Rule Six, there is NO ... Rule Six.
         Rule Seven, (Everybruce) No Poofters!!
       Right, that concludes the readin' of the rules, Bruce.
Bruce: This here's the wattle, the emblem of our land. You can stick it in
       a bottle, you can hold it in your hand.

Everybruce: Amen!
 
[And now all four Bruces launch into the Philosophers' song]

Listen to song in mp3
 
Immanuel Kant was a real piss-ant who was very rarely stable.
Heidegger, Heidegger was a boozy beggar who could
    think you under the table.
David Hume could out-consume Schopenhauer and Hegel.
And Wittgenstein was a beery swine who was just as sloshed as Schlegel.
There's nothing Nietzsche couldn't teach 'ya 'bout the raising of the wrist.
Socrates, himself, was permanently pissed.
John Stuart Mill, of his own free will, after half a pint of shandy was
    particularly ill.
Plato, they say, could stick it away, 'alf a crate of whiskey every day!
Aristotle, Aristotle was a bugger for the bottle,
    And Hobbes was fond of his Dram.
And Rene Descartes was a drunken fart:
    "I drink, therefore I am."
Yes, Socrates himself is particularly missed;
A lovely little thinker, but a bugger when he's pissed.

 


Wikipedia and David Brown's prodigious Daily Bleed are both excellent resources that aid my research.
I frequently make use of their generously liberal 'fair use', 'copyleft' and 'anti-copyright' policies, with much gratitude.
© My own copyright policy is also liberal, but as this is my livelihood, conditions apply.

Read more about today at Wilson's Blogmanac

 

 





Tell J-9 You've Read It!

 

 

 

 

Subscribe free
Almost Prophetic Quotes
"Because our readers are bored 
with the usual quotations"

Subscribe free
Wilson's Almanac
Illustrated free daily ezine
"Think universally. Act terrestrially."