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reetings from Australia. 

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Pip Wilson

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I suspect or intuit that, as Lenin said, "the machine is running the engineers." We can't dismount, even if the horse seems to have gotten out of control. Information will continue to double faster all the time, leading to new technologies, and the new technologies will unleash Chaos (in the mathematical sense), and society will change in unpredictable and unexpected ways. I suspect or intuit that this ever-accelerating info-techno-sociological rev-and-ev-olution follows the laws of organic systems and continually re-organizes on higher and higher levels of coherence, until something kills it.
Robert Anton Wilson   Source

I don't do well speaking about things I don't know anything about, so I'll speak instead about the Unknown and the Inexplicable. I find them inexhaustibly entertaining as objects of speculation, since they obviously include a lot more than the known and the explicated. I suspect and almost believe that the Unknown and Inexplicable played a role in the design of the DNA molecule, as suggested by Sir Francis Crick, Sir Fred Hoyle, Dr. Timothy Leary and others. I also suspect that the Unknown has meddled a lot in human affairs, and the Inexplicable has laid hands, or tentacles, or something, on us many times.
Robert Anton Wilson   Source

It only takes twenty years for a liberal to become a conservative without changing a single idea.
Robert Anton Wilson

If you can master nonsense as well as you have already learned to master sense, then each will expose the other for what it is: absurdity. From that moment of illumination, a man begins to be free regardless of his surroundings. He becomes free to play order games and change them at will. He becomes free to play disorder games just for the hell of it. He becomes free to play neither or both. And as the master of his games, he plays without fear, and therefore without frustration, and therefore with good will in his soul and love in his being.
Malaclypse the Younger; Principia Discordia

Today the long awaited day eventually came as Supply hauled in for Botany Bay ... We observed some natives. I think it is easy to conceive the ridiculous figure we must appear to these poor creatures, who are perfectly naked.
Captain Arthur Phillip, January 18, 1788, from the log of HMS Supply at Botany Bay (near Sydney)

Men, that old murderer has got away from every soldier command and has left a trail of blood for 500 miles on the old stage line. I want him dead or alive tomorrow morning, do you understand? I want him dead.
Joseph Rodman West, Brigadier General of the Union Army and future senator from Louisiana, addressing sentries he had assigned to guard the Chiricahua Apache chief Mangas Coloradas, 1863   Source

A New York broker says Oscar Wilde is "straddling the market" – short on trousers and long on brains.
   Young Wilde has opened his eyes, "Why," he said, "the United States is not a country, it is a world!"
The Ohio State Journal, February 18, 1882. On January 18, 1882, Wilde visited American poet Walt Whitman.

Almost anyone can be an author; the business is to collect money and fame from this state of being.
AA Milne, English author, born on January 18, 1882

It's a very funny thought that, if Bears were Bees, 
They'd build their nests at the bottom of trees. 
And that being so (if the Bees were Bears), 
We shouldn't have to climb up all these stairs.
AA Milne

On Wednesday, when the sky is blue, 
And I have nothing else to do, 
I sometimes wonder if it's true 
That who is what and what is who.
AA Milne; Winnie-the-Pooh

A 'children's book' must be written, not for children, but for the author himself.
AA Milne

That's another fine mess you've gotten us into, Stanley.
Oliver Hardy, American comedian, born on January 18, 1892

I myself have seen you drunk in the legislative assembly of New South Wales ... I have seen you snoring drunk on several occasions ... you have addressed audiences while under the influence of drink ... when in Brisbane about a year ago you got so disgracefully drunk and incapable that medical aid had to be called in so that you could be "toned up" in time to address a big public meeting. On that occasion your condition and demeanour, the result of your drinking, so shocked some of the audience nearest the platform that they left in shame and disgust ... I charge you with being very frequently under the influence of drink ever since the meeting of the federal parliament ... and when you were supposed to be discharging the duties of your high constitutional office of Prime Minister ... Quite recently you came into chamber so drunk you were scarcely able to stand ... on another occasion, seeing your drunken, helpless state, the Speaker generously put an end to the painful scene [when] he saw you were incapable of properly doing [so] ... 
John Norton (1858 - 1916), Australian muck-raking journalist/editor and politician, 'Open Letter to Edmund Barton, Prime Minister of the Commonwealth, Concerning His Disgusting Drinking Habits', January 1902; Australia's first prime minister, Edmund 'Toby Tosspot' Barton was born on January 18, 1849. (Norton was also a famed drunk.)

Sydney is the only place to live in Australia – the rest is camping out.
Paul Keating, 24^th Prime Minister of Australia, born on January 18, 1944

He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up.
Paul Keating

If one takes pride in one's craft, you won't let a good thing die. Risking it through not pushing hard enough is not a humility.
Paul Keating

I try to use the Australian idiom to its maximum advantage.
Paul Keating

A souffle doesn't rise twice.
Paul Keating on ousted opposition leader Andrew Peacock's chances of ever being Liberal Party leader again (Andrew Peacock, one-time intimate of Shirley Maclean, had a reputation as something of a 'spiv', or vain man)

You've been in the dye pot again, Andrew.
Paul Keating to Andrew Peacock

It is the first time the Honourable Gentleman has got out from under the sunlamp.
Paul Keating to Andrew Peacock

... a fop such as the present Leader of the Opposition.
Paul Keating to Andrew Peacock

John Howard has all the vision of Mr Magoo without the good intentions.
Paul Keating on then opposition leader and later Prime Minister John Howard

You look like an Easter Island statue with an arse full of razor blades.
Paul Keating to former Prime Minister Malcolm Fraser

The opposition leader today was like a tired old sock.
Paul Keating on the parliamentary performance of then opposition leader John Hewson

I was implying that the Honourable Member for Wentworth was like a lizard on a rock – alive, but looking dead.
Paul Keating on John Hewson

Yesterday, on a personal matter against me, we had old dozy over there, the Honourable Member for Wentworth.
Paul Keating on John Hewson

I have a psychological hold over Hewson ... He's like a stone statue in the cemetery.
Paul Keating on John Hewson

I'm not going to be fairy flossed away as my opposite number, John Hewson, is prepared to be fairy flossed away by some spaced out, vacuous ad agency.
Paul Keating on John Hewson

What we have got is a dead carcase, swinging in the breeze, but nobody will cut it down to replace him. 
Paul Keating on John Howard

… the brain-damaged Leader of the Opposition …
Paul Keating on John Howard

From this day onwards, Howard will wear his leadership like a crown of thorns, and in the parliament I'll do everything to crucify him.
Paul Keating on John Howard

But I will never get to the stage of wanting to lead the nation standing in front of the mirror each morning clipping the eyebrows here and clipping the eyebrows there with Janette and the kids: It's like 'Spot the eyebrows'.
Paul Keating on John Howard

I am not like the Leader of the Opposition. I did not slither out of the Cabinet room like a mangy maggot.
Paul Keating on John Howard

Come in, sucker.
Paul Keating to John Howard

The principle saboteur, the man with the cheap fistful of dollars.
Paul Keating on John Howard

He's wound up like a thousand-day clock. 
Paul Keating on John Howard

He is the greatest job and investment destroyer since the bubonic plague.
Paul Keating on John Howard

He has more hide than a team of elephants.
Paul Keating on John Howard

I do not want to hear any mealy-mouthed talk from the Member for Benelong.
Paul Keating on John Howard

This is the sort of little-boy, stamp your foot stuff which comes from a financial yuppie when you shoe him into parliament. 
Paul Keating on Liberal Party leader John Hewson

Like being flogged with a warm lettuce.
Paul Keating on John Hewson

I'd put him in the same class as the rest of them: mediocrity. 
Paul Keating on John Hewson

I suppose that the Honourable Gentleman's hair, like his intellect, will recede into the darkness.
Paul Keating on Andrew Peacock

… if this gutless spiv, and I refer to him as a gutless spiv …
Paul Keating on Andrew Peacock

The Leader of the Opposition is more to be pitied than despised, the poor old thing. The Liberal Party ought to put him down like a faithful dog because he is of no use to it and of no use to the nation.
Paul Keating on Andrew Peacock

We're not interested in the views of painted, perfumed gigolos.
Paul Keating on Andrew Peacock

What we have as a leader of the National Party is a political carcase with a coat and tie on. 
Paul Keating on Ian Sinclair

Stick your head out of the building in any capital city in Australia, and it's a sea of cranes. The economy is so robust that it takes a pickaxe to stop it. We're laying into it with a lump of four by two to slow it down!
Paul Keating on the Australian economy

Codd will be lucky to get a job cleaning shithouses if I ever become Prime Minister.
Paul Keating on public servant Mike Codd

... the brain-damaged Honourable Member for Bruce made his first parliamentary contribution since being elected, by calling a quorum to silence me for three minutes.
Paul Keating on Ken Aldred

The Leader of the Opposition hurls all sorts of abuse at me, and all through question time those pansies over there want retractions of the things we've said about them. They are a bunch of nobodies going nowhere.
Paul Keating

Mr Speaker can I have some protection from the clowns on the front bench?
Paul Keating

… for the dullard on the front bench opposite.
Paul Keating

Mr Deputy Speaker, am I to be continually abused by the Honourable Member for Mitchell and the drone beside him, the Honourable Member for Braddon?
Paul Keating

Where you all come a gutser is, over here we think we're born to rule you. And let me tell you this, it's been ingrained in me from childhood, I think my mission in life is to run you.
Paul Keating

You were heard in silence, so some of you scumbags on the front bench should wait a minute until you hear the responses from me.
Paul Keating

What really amuses me and almost makes me spew …
Paul Keating

They have no ideas, no integrity and no ability.
Paul Keating

Damn them for being the cheats they are.
Paul Keating

You are frauds.
Paul Keating

… votes for coalition members who have always been cheats, cheats, cheats and will always be cheats, cheats, cheats and will always defend cheats, cheats, cheats.
Paul Keating

Honourable Members opposite are a joke.
Paul Keating

They are irrelevant, useless and immoral.
Paul Keating

… they insist on being mugs, Mr Speaker, absolute mugs.
Paul Keating

I'm not running a seminar for dullards on the other side.
Paul Keating

Those opposite could not operate a tart shop.
Paul Keating

These intellectual hoboes ...
Paul Keating

This rabble opposite ...
Paul Keating

… for the benefit of the blockheads opposite ...
Paul Keating

If the dummies opposite will just shut up ...
Paul Keating

Shut up for a moment. If you ask questions and want to hear answers, shut up.
Paul Keating

How thick these people are.
Paul Keating

These dummies and dimwits ...
Paul Keating

Talk about desperadoes!
Paul Keating

These are the absolute gutter tactics of a mindless, useless, idealistic, unprincipled Opposition.
Paul Keating

The Opposition is such a motley, dishonest crew.
Paul Keating

… the cowboys on this front bench ...
Paul Keating

It is just a slight of hand by a dingy party.
Paul Keating

The Opposition crowd could not raffle a chook in a pub.
Paul Keating

We will be rejecting the opportunist claptrap coming from the Opposition.
Paul Keating

Honourable Members opposite squeal like stuck pigs.
Paul Keating

… small time punk stuff coming from a punk Opposition.
Paul Keating

The animals on the other side ...
Paul Keating

Laurie Oakes is a cane toad.
Paul Keating on journalist Laurie Oakes

You have got to be joking. Whether the Treasurer wished to go there or not, I would forbid him going to the Senate to account to this unrepresentative swill over there. 
Paul Keating, refusing to allow Treasurer John Dawkins to appear before a Senate inquiry, November 4, 1992

You had an important place in Australian society on the ABC and you gave it up to be a pop star … with a big cheque … and now you're on to this sort of stuff. That shows what a 24 carat pissant you are, Richard, that's for sure. 
Paul Keating to TV journalist Richard Carleton

That you Jim? Paul Keating here. Just because you swallowed a fucking dictionary when you were about 15 doesn't give you the right to pour a bucket of shit over the rest of us.
Paul Keating to former Labor politician, 'Diamond' Jim McClelland (on the phone)

Fucking animals. 
Paul Keating on the Press

Go and get a job!
Paul Keating to a University student protesting about fees

You stupid foul-mouthed grub.
Paul Keating to Liberal Party politician Wilson Tuckey

Shut up! Sit down and shut up, you pig!
Paul Keating to Wilson Tuckey

You boxhead, you wouldn't know. You are flat out counting past ten.
Paul Keating to Wilson Tuckey

You know me, love – downhill, one ski, no poles.
Paul Keating on taking risks

I was nearly chloroformed by the performance of the Honourable Member for Mackellar. It nearly put me right out for the afternoon.
Paul Keating on former Shadow Treasurer, Jim Carlton

Paul Keating Insults Archive

Australia is the only place where women say it is too hard to read.
Germaine Greer, Australian feminist, January 18, 1972, at the Australian launch of her book, The Female Eunuch

As far as I'm concerned, men are the product of a damaged gene. They pretend to be normal but what they're doing sitting there with benign smiles on their faces is they're manufacturing sperm ... I mean, we women are more reasonable. We pop one follicle every 28 days, whereas they are producing 400 million sperm for each ejaculation, most of which don't take place anywhere near an ovum. I don't know that the ecosphere can tolerate it.
Germaine Greer, Australian misandrist, (from a news report dated November 14, 1991) 

January 18 is the 18^th day of the year in the Gregorian calendar, with 347 days remaining (348 in leap years).
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Festival of Theogamia of Hêra (Hera), ancient Greece

Women's festival of the goddess Hêra.
Source: The Phoenix and Arabeth 1992 Calendar

In Greek Mythology, Hêra is the goddess of marriage, and wife and sister of Zeus. She spends most of her time plotting revenge on the other women her husband consorts with. This frustrated Zeus so much he occasionally chained her to Mt Olympus by attaching anvils to her feet.

Hêra was known as Juno to the Romans, and also Saturnia. She was wedded to Zeus in the Garden of the Gods where Gaia created in her honour a tree of life bearing golden fruit.

Hêra was especially worshipped at Argos, where the Heraia, festivals in her honor, were celebrated. There were also temples to Hêra in Olympia, Mycene, Sparta, Paestum, Corinth, Tiryns, Perachora, Samos and Delos.

Hêra's wagon was pulled by peacocks, one of her symbols, along with the crow, pomegranate, diadem, veil and cow. Her association with cattle led to an alternate name Bopis ("cow-eyed" or "with big eyes").

Deities of many cultures in the Book of Days    Festivals in ancient Greece

The birthday of Discordian Robert Anton Wilson puts me in mind of ...

The goddess Eris

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopaedia.

Eris is the ancient Greek goddess of discord, daughter of Zeus and Hera (see above) and frequent companion of her brother (some say twin) Ares. The Romans associated her with their goddess Discordia. With Zeus, she was the mother of Ate and the Litae.

The most famous tale of Eris ('strife') recounts her initiating the Trojan War. The goddesses Hera, Athena and Aphrodite had been invited along with the rest of Olympus to the forced wedding of Peleus and Thetis, who would become the parents of Achilles, but Eris had been snubbed because of her troublemaking inclinations.

She therefore tossed into the party a golden apple inscribed 'Kallisti' – 'For the most beautiful one', or 'To the Prettiest One' – provoking the goddesses to begin quarrelling about the appropriate recipient. The hapless Paris, Prince of Troy, was appointed to select the most beautiful. Greek mythological morality being what it was, each of the three goddesses immediately attempted to bribe Paris to choose her. Hera offered political power, Athena skill in battle, and Aphrodite the most beautiful woman in the world, Helen, wife of Menelaus of Sparta. Paris was a red-blooded young man, and while the length of time he meditated on this problem is not recorded, he did eventually award the apple to Aphrodite.

Eris has been adopted as the matron deity of the modern Discordian religion. In the process, however, she has lightened up considerably in comparison to the rather malevolent Graeco-Roman original.

Today in the Discordian Calendar    Kerry Thornley, co-founder of Discordianism

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Feast of St Peter's Chair, Rome Today's commemoration is a Roman Catholic act of gratitude for the founding of the papacy, and was mentioned in a martyrology in the time of St Willibrod, 720. "Christians," Alban Butler says, "justly celebrate the founding of this mother church, the centre of Catholic communion, in thanksgiving to God for his mercies on his church, and to implore his future blessings." It takes place in St Peter's Basilica in the Vatican, and is a very solemn occasion, with much splendour. Enclosed in a gilt bronze casing designed by Gian Lorenzo Bernini, and mounted on a tribune designed by Michelangelo is St Peter's Chair – a throne, enshrining the "real, plain, worm-eaten wooden chair, on which St Peter, the prince of the apostles, is said to have pontificated; more precious than all the bronze, gold, and gems, with which it is hidden, not only from the impious, but from holy eyes, and which once only, in the flight of ages, was profaned by mortal inspection." (Lady Morgan, Italy)  (Robert Chambers, (Ed.), The Book of Days: A miscellany of popular antiquities in connection with the calendar, etc, W & R Chambers, London, 1881 [1879 Edition is online and 1869 edition here with CD-ROM available; See also The English Year: A Personal Selection from Chambers' Book of Days]) That occasion was when the French opened the casket and saw the relic. It had Arabic characters written on it, or, so it is said – "There is but one God, and Muhammad is his prophet". The feast of the Chair of St Peter at Antioch is celebrated on February 22.   Feast day of St Ammonius Feast day of St Christina Ciccarelli Feast day of the of the Confession of St Peter the Apostle, Anglican, Lutheran Churches 'Confession' here means profession of faith that Jesus was the Messiah. Feast of the Cross (Eastern Orthodox) Feast day of St Day Feast day of St Deicola (Deicolus, Deel), abbot An Irish priest, he spent his best days in France. His memory is preserved in Franche-comté, where the name Deel was still given in the 1880s, according to the folklorist Robert Chambers, who wrote at that time. Feast day of St Fazzio of Verona Feast day of St Jaime Hilario Barbel Feast day of St Liberata Feast day of St Paul and Thirty-six Companions in Egypt A group of missionaries who went at an early but unknown period into Egypt, and became martyrs. Feast day of St Prisca of Rome, virgin and martyr (Four-toothed moss, Bryum pellucidum, is today's plant, dedicated to this saint.) Prisca was a martyr of the Roman Church, but little is known about her. The name Prisca or Priscilla is often mentioned by early authorities of the history of the Church of Rome. Prisca was of a noble family and at thirteen years of age was accused of Christianity before the 1st-Century Roman Emperor Claudius. By his command she was taken to the temple of Apollo to sacrifice there, and when she refused, was buffeted and sent to prison. She was taken out from thence again, but as she still held steadfastly to the faith, they flogged her, poured boiling tallow upon her, and sent her back a second time. She was at last thrown to a lion in the amphitheatre, but it quietly lay down at her feet. She was starved for three days in a slaves' prison house, and then tortured upon the rack. Pieces of flesh were next torn from her body with iron hooks, and she was thrown on a burning pile. She marvellously still remained alive, and was accordingly beheaded outside the city The grave of a martyr Prisca was venerated in the Roman Catacomb of Priscilla on the Via Salaria (see Basilica of Santa Prisca, which is on the Aventine hill). In art, she is represented between two lions, which refused to eat her. There is also a St Priscilla, mentioned several times in the New Testament, who is also called Prisca the wife of St Aquila, the pupil of St Paul, bore this name. Feast day of St Susanna Feast day of St Ulfrid, bishop and martyr Feast day of St Volusian of Tours Click for Eastern Orthodox liturgical days    Shop saints Week of Prayer for Christian Unity, Catholicism Week of Prayer for Christian Unity begins, Lutheran Church Festival of Lima, Peru Day of the Revolution, Tunisia Carrot Festival, Holtville, California, USA Fiesta, Taxco, Mexico Featuring dance; a mock battle between Moors (Muslim Africans) and Christians; the Tiger Dance; acrobatics; fireworks, and so on.   Ka Moloka'I Makahiki, Molokai, Hawaii "Held after the harvest, the Makahiki celebration is a Hawaiian tradition. Legend has it that Captain Cook owes his reception in this part of the world to his lucky arrival during Makahiki season. The island of Moloka'I celebrates with hula, Hawaiian arts and crafts, games and food. "The harsh kapu, or laws ruling the tribe, are cast aside in favour of sporting competitions and thanksgiving. Usual deities are replaced by the effigy of Lomo, represented by a staff which bears an uncanny resemblance to the sails of a ship - hence Cook's warm reception, since he was mistaken for a visiting god. "Festivities during the day include ancient Hawaiian games like huki huki (tug-of-war), Ulumaika (lawn bowling) and Uma (arm wrestling), to name just a few."   Source   Pooh Day Another one of those commercial 'days'. Week of Prayer for Christian Unity begins, Christian ecumenism       1689 Montesquieu (d. 1755), French writer 1779 Peter Roget (d. 1869), lexicographer, creator of Roget's Thesaurus 1782 Daniel Webster (d. October 25, 1852), leading American statesman during the nation's antebellum, or Pre-Civil War, era The lad who rode sidesaddle (children's story about Webster)     1813 Joseph Farwell Glidden, American farmer from Illinois, who received a patent for the first commercial barbed wire on November 24, 1874. It was an improvement on less successful pointed wire products invented in 1867-68. This simple invention played a part in the partial demise of open range ranching and the cowboy. Although not a young man, Glidden formed, with partner Isaac L Ellwood, the Barb Fence Company, and became one of America's wealthiest men.   Another Glidden had an important patent: Carlos Glidden (with Christopher Sholes and Samuel W Soule) invented the typewriter, in 1867. Other late starters and late achievers 1818 George Palmer, of Huntley & Palmers biscuit manufacturers, which introduced the first biscuit tins 1840 Henry Austin Dobson (d. September 2, 1921), English poet, essayist, critic and biographer 1842 Albert Alonzo Ames (d. 1911), notorious mayor of Minneapolis 1848 Ioan Slavici (d. 1925), Transylvanian writer of Romanian origin 1849 Edmund Barton (d. January 7, 1920), Australian politician and judge, the first prime minister of Australia and a founding justice of the High Court of Australia. Barton was a strong advocate of the federation of the Australian colonies, and after the death of Sir Henry Parkes in 1896 he effectively led the federal movement. Giving up the chance of high office in New South Wales, he campaigned tirelessly for federation. Barton, not a 'cold water man', was nicknamed 'Toby Tosspot'. "In the early 1880s Barton became a member of the Athenaeum Club. Here, he could satisfy his epicurean taste for fine food and wine while sharpening his debating skills in conversation with some of Sydney's most respected intellectuals, artists, professionals and politicians. The proprietor of the Sydney Morning Herald Sir James Fairfax, the editor of The Bulletin J.F. Archibald, the Professor of English Literature at the University of Sydney Sir Mungo MacCallum, the artist Julian Ashton, as well as the politicians Richard O'Connor and Sir William Lyne, were members. The writers Mark Twain and Robert Louis Stevenson visited the Athenaeum on their travels through Sydney. "When on the 23rd of October 1891 Barton accepted Premier Dibbs's offer to serve in his protectionist government as Attorney-General, he negotiated the right to maintain his private practice as a barrister. Two years later Barton's parliamentary responsibilities came into direct conflict with his private practice when he accepted a brief against the Crown and was forced to resign. "Although it was fully expected that Barton would be selected to be the first Prime Minister to take the people to their first Federal election, the new Governor General Lord Hopetoun instead selected William Lyne Premier of NSW. In a mark of solidarity with Barton, appointed members of Cabinet refused to serve under Lyne. Barton was finally appointed the nation's first Prime Minister, taking the portfolio of Minister of External Affairs. "The celebrations for Federation in Sydney took place on 1st January 1901. For Barton, however, it was the start of yet another campaign trail as a Federal election now had to be fought and won. In March 1901 Barton and his entire Cabinet, including old friends and allies, Alfred Deakin, Charles Kingston and Richard O'Connor, were formally approved by the Australian voters. Although only Prime Minster for a little over two and a half years, the Australian Public Service, the instigation of the White Australia Policy, women's right to vote and the High Court were all established during his term. "Having twice refused a Knighthood, Barton finally accepted a GCMG (Knight Grand Cross of the Order of St Michael and St George) in 1902. In September 1903, worn out by the responsibilities of being Prime Minister and the long and exhausting federation campaign that preceded it, Barton resigned. "Shortly afterwards Barton was appointed to sit on Australia's first High Court. For the next 17 years Barton interpreted the Constitution he had helped to create. Before the opening of the present High Court in Canberra in 1980 the High Court divided its time between the State capital cities. Despite the travelling, the life of a High Court judge was far less onerous than that of a politician. Barton was finally able to resume his dinners at the Athenaeum Club and spend more time with his wife, six children and grandchildren."   Source Barton and Manly "Edmund Barton lived at Calahla (now called Whitehall) corner Woodland and White Streets, Balgowlah from 1888 to 1891, and then in James Street, Manly until 1893."   Source Edmund Barton timeline    Lawson & Co: associations with Henry and Louisa Lawson    More   1850 Seth Low, American politician 1854 Thomas Watson (d. December 13, 1934), telephone pioneer, assistant to Alexander Graham Bell, notably in the invention of the telephone. He is best known because his name is reportedly the first words spoken over the telephone. "Mr Watson, come here, I want to see you" (sources vary as to the phrase), were allegedly the first words Bell said using the new invention, on March 10, 1876. 1882 AA Milne (Alan Alexander Milne; d. 1956)