Written for, and dedicated to, my sadly long-lost friend from by the Sea of Galilee, American-born Lynn Fux.
Made with a computer that thinks more slowly than moi. The first page in Wilson's Almanac I've dedicated to Lyn Ledge! RIP?

Welcome update! Lynne's fine, back in Israel! Our warm, interesting email friendship is resumed. She was without Net and kinda stranded in flood zones hundreds of miles north of Bellingen.
Lynn was well and back with family in Israel, by May or so, and I heard from her soon after arrival. She has long hours on her farm, much else to do. The dedication remains, and I'm glad.

The Australian Slang pages are also in loving memory of Arthur Stace and Sister Ada Green of the Dom and other places in Sydney.

I love the working class. I come from an upwardly mobile working-class background, dirt poor. Really poor, not crapola poor, as you hear today.

But the upward inflection, most common in not-well travelled females, can drive me nuts. Can't they afford to fix it? They sure can afford a lot of junk food, junk culture, junk TV, junk entertainment, junk-junkie male partners, etc.

Please fix it, women and girls - it's really on the nose.

If necessary in the text, I trust these common acronyms for various countries will be self-explanatory: AU, UK, USA, NZ, and so on. Please ask me, if they're not, and my intension is to reply rather quickly.

. . . . .       Slowly but slowly asking my way through the underpants

Almanac  Scriptorium Book of Days Pip's Bellingen pix on Flickr Pip's brain injury Bellingen Pip's Links Pip's memoirs Pip's pix Pip's stash Pip's Tips Pip's Trip Tips Pip's Toobs

Almanac at Facebook Pip's Sky and Weather photos on Flickr Subscribe free Articles Faces in the Street Daily Planet News Louisa & Henry Lawson Chronology Google

Brain Injury links for survivors, sufferers, carers, friends and family Wilson's Almanac Belligen and International Free Directory Bello Bards Having a baby? Daily Absolutely Everything Free subscription Email

Australian free stuff Australian and American English Australian Idiocracy Recently updated pages More than 400 pictures per hour

Pip's Pomes (Bello, etc) Search SiteMap Support Typo Heaven, Really! A place in France that looks like it's in the Bellinger Valley, Australia, home of Wilson's Almanac

Microminibliss Recently updated pages (cached for up to 3 or 4 days)  Julian day calculator (pop-up) Lunar phase info (pop-up) Virtuosity Corrigenda

Kroakin' Rosie Julian day calculator (pop-up) Lunar phase info (pop-up) Memidex Almost Prophetic Quotations

Scroll down ... ... or die! A fragment of the new, unfinished although announced, About Pip starts below. Under reconstruction.

Open links in a New Window

First up, a bit of background, some explanations,and a warning, on every one of 24 pages in the Wilson's Almanac Slang Dictionary. At first I thought I'd have Slang, More Slang, and Yet More Slang. It just kept growing. I thought just boring old 'Hex={02,77,57}' would be a drag, and while I don't intend to change Wilson's Almanac trademark colours, I intend to add things like pictures, films, TV shows, maps, etc. It makes the page big and heavy, not easy to 'webmaster', but I have 'broad shoulders', no matter how narrow they look. Sometimes I say to myself, "I'd better grab my 'wally' and 'get the hell outta here', maybe 'pop' up to the Prov or the Growers Market and have a coffee". It's 'hard yakka'. I could use a 'break'. And I go and 'grab' a 'java'. (And you can use Search for much around here, or google it. Meanwhile, I'm slowly but slowly asking my way through the underpants. Some pages are half finished. No worries. I'll be beck.

I don't consider myself an expert in anything, really (except Pip), but I'm rather good at linguistics - nowhere near perfect, but OK. It was something at which I excelled at Macquarie University when I did a BA in History and English. For example, I had very friendly correspondence with Pam Peters of the Macquarie Dictionary when it began, citing examples of usage, for their files. David Blair, my tutor, was one of the founders of the Macquarie. He gave me good marks, and we were friendly. At first he didn't think much of my idea to use old tape recordings of Australian settlers at the Cosme/New Australia settlements in Paraguay, an early Aussie commune with a close relationship to my old mate, Henry Lawson, to hear what the accent was like in late-19th-Century Australia. A week later he'd changed his mind and agreed, didn't 'poo-poo' the idea. I'd love to meet him again.

Australia is replete with slang, much of it Irish, racist, Yiddish, English, Anglo-Saxon (the 'German' connection is strong - some 'obscene' words were neither slang nor profanity about 300 years ago, but, officially used by the Council of London as street names - times have changed (the earliest citation of certain usages in the 1972 Oxford English Dictionary, c. 1230, refers to one such London street - and so on. But I shan’t write the ‘C-word’, nor ‘F-word’ – every adult, AFAIK, would like to do the F-word. Every woman I’ve ever known has a C-word. It’s like the nose. The only woman I’ve ever seen without one of those was when I was at Sydney Children’s Hospital, and the poor young woman had fallen face-first into a fire. So hold onto your hats, and if you wish to look, it’s your decision, not mine. It’s why every page has this long note. The ABC Australia Talks program called Offensive language is very instructive on the attitudes of many members of the Australian community, and its legal and law enforcement officers, to what were once taboo words in Australia and still are in some other English-speaking cultures.

I have strong family associations with both the Irish and the Yiddish. I use quite a lot of myself, but because the slang is here doesn't mean I use it. (And some things are private, such as how I speak at all times). For these and other reasons, I'm placing this 'warning' and curriculum vitae notice at the head of each page, and a video, so that anyone who is interested in how Australians have come to speak as uniquely as they do (see Australian American English), will have to scroll down. The purpose of the Wilsons Almanac Australian Slang Dictionary is to have a bit of fun, recollect things, and so on, but to be rather academic. It's a very slangy country: In 30 minutes walking around Bellingen Markets, and getting home, I heard, or thought of, legpull, blackout, shoog, 2SM, jerk (on a book cover, and has various meanings), 2SM (two sugars and milk, which is my 'cuppa’.

American slang Australian slang British slang English slang Environmentalist slang Euphemism Forvo Irish slang Jewish and Yiddish slang Modern grammar Modern spelling Racist slang Language evolution

I'll only use a schwa (ɘ) in some cases, because most can be figured out: if not, 'please inform'. These pages won't tell you, as most online Australian slang dictionaries do, that a word or term is from a certain place in Australia. Since common air travel, and the Internet, it's 'a waste of space', as some Aussies often call a superfluous, useless person or activity. I won't put 'v.t.' and 'v.t.' to indicate whether a verb is transitive or intransitive, as many of them do. I do it sometimes, not invariably. I have enough respect for you that I think you can work it out, especially if I put it in context. Given my sight damage, at time of commencing this dictionary (circa May, 2011), I might have made some typographical errors. So, with this and any other suggestions or complaints, feel free to email me. Some of the slang is from memory, some from the many contributors and friends, PhDs in English, Law, etc, and others (such as eminent business people, including my father, Rob Brown, Mark Kennedy, etc), some from dictionaries, some from Wikipedia, the free online encyclopaedia, and other sources. So, I hope you'll make a great day. Any additions or errors, please let me know.

There are several ways of using the orthography and idiom of Australia. These days, it is almost more common to use 'which', rather than 'that', particularly used among younger people, in certain contexts, and I much prefer the standard, "which is a kind of dog", to, "that is a kind of dog", or "kind of a dog". I believe most would agree.

I hope you will kindly excuse missing hyperlinks, and other errors of that kind, around the Almanac. I expect all such technical matters to be repaired soon.

Famous hippie quotes

(Please find quotes and/or quoters in this growing list, by using Search at Almanac, and/or Google. It saves much time
at my end, and it's kinda cool and fun for me. Phrases are not in alphabetical order yet. Thank you, very much. Pip.)

Work like you don't need the money. Love like you've never been hurt. Dance like nobody's watching. Satchel Paige
We're more popular than Jesus now; I don't know which will go first- rock and roll or Christianity.
Do you believe in rock 'n roll? Can music save your mortal soul?
Down through all of eternity the crying of humanity, tis' then when the hurdy gurdy man comes singing songs of love.
Do you believe in magic? Believe in the magic of a young girl's soul? Believe in the magic of rock 'n roll? Believe in the magic that can
set you free?
Got to get back to the land and set my soul free.
The New York State Freeway's closed, man. Far out!
Good morning! What we have in mind is breakfast in bed for 400,000.
Let the sound take you away.
There was a band playing in my head, and I felt like getting high.
We all sang the songs of peace.
We all got up to dance. Oh, but we never got the chance!
You know what rock musicians are? They are hung up, neurotic, over-weight hippies with sex problems.
Love is a friendship set to music.
There can't be any large-scale revolution until there's a personal revolution, on an individual level. It's got to happen inside first.
The first duty of a revolutionary is to get away with it.
If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the problem.
You must be the change you wish to see in the world.
Never doubt that a small group of thoughful, committed individuals can change the world, indeed it's the only thing that ever has.
He who takes a stand is often wrong, but he who fails to take a stand is always wrong.
They won't give peace a chance, that's just a dream some of us had
Hell no, we won't go!
Old hippies don't die, they just lie low until the laughter stops and their time comes round again.
Question authority.
If I'm free, it's because I'm always running.
Masses are always breeding grounds of psychic epidemics. 

Mother, should I trust the government?
We all want to change the world.
Never pretend to a love which you do not actually feel, for love is not ours to command.
You're either on the bus or off the bus.
Dope will get you through times of no money, better than money will get you through times of no dope.
The only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same
time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn, like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders
across the stars and in the middle you see the blue centerlight pop and everybody goes "Awww!"
Kerouac opened a million coffee bars and sold a million pairs of Levis to both sexes. Woodstock rises from his pages.
When you've seen beyond yourself, then you may find, peace of mind is waiting there.
Hippy is an establishment label for a profound, invisible, underground, evolutionary process. For every visible hippy, barefoot, beflowered,
beaded, there are a thousand invisible members of the turned-on underground. Persons whose lives are tuned in to their inner vision, who are
dropping out of the TV comedy of American Life.
All I'm gonna do is just go on and do what I feel.
It all depends on how we look at things, and not how they are in themselves.
Imagine no possesions, I wonder if you can, No need for greed or hunger, A brotherhood of man. Imagine all the people Sharing all the world.
Herb is the healing of a nation, alcohol is the destruction.

His hair has the long jesuschrist look. He is wearing the costume clothes. But most of all, he now has a very tolerant and therefore
withering attitude toward all those who are still struggling in the old activist political ways...while he, with the help of psychedelic
chemicals, is exploring the infinite regions of human consciousness.
The most important kind of freedom is to be what you really are. You trade in your reality for a role. ...You give up your ability to feel,
and in exchange, put on a mask.
Nobody living can ever stop me. As I go walking my freedom highway. Nobody living can make me turn back. This land was made for you and me.
Expose yourself to your deepest fear; after that, fear has no power, and the fear of freedom shrinks and vanishes. You are free.
Follow your bliss, and the universe will open doors there, where once were only walls.
Purple Haze all in my brain, lately things don't seem the same. Actin' funny but I don't know why. 'Scuse me while I kiss the sky.
Your mind is like a parachute, it doesn't work unless it's open.
If you can remember the '60s, then you weren't there.
Do you want me to tell you something really subversive? Love is everything it's cracked up to be. That's why people are so cynical about it
... It really is worth fighting for, being brave for, risking everything for. And the trouble is, if you don't risk anything, you risk even
more.
One pill makes you larger, and one pill makes you small. And the ones that mother gives you don't do anything at all. Go ask Alice, when
she's ten feet tall.
My advice to people today is as follows: If you take the game of life seriously, if you take your nervous system seriously, if you take your
sense organs seriously, if you take the energy process seriously, you must turn on, tune in, and drop out.
I get by with a little help from my friends, get high with a little help from my friends.
Make Love, Not War.
Love is all you need.
I'll let you be in my dreams, if I can be in yours.
I do my thing, and you do your thing. I am not tin this world to live up to your expectations, and you are not in this world to live up to
mine. You are you, and I am I, and if by chance we find each other, it's beautiful.
We've got this gift of love, but love is like a precious plant. You can't just accept it and leave it in the cupboard or just think it's
going to get on by itself. You've got to keep on watering it. You've got to really look after it and nurture it.
Love gives naught but itself and takes naught but from itself. Love possesses not nor would it be possessed; For love is sufficient unto
love.
Made up my mind to make a new start. Going to California with an aching in my heart. Someone told me there's a girl out there with love in
her eyes and flowers in her hair.
Carry on, love is coming. Love is coming to us all.
War is over, if you want it.
If you want to be free, be free, because there are a million things to do.

Speaking of noses, I kinda like the one worn by
Amanda Smith (please click image).

The decision was made in August, 2011 to desist, commencing on November 1, 2011, from tracking ABC malapropisms (see below), such as 'the criteria is', or 'had've' (had of?) instead of simply and correctly saying 'had'. Or 'this phenomena' instead of 'this phenomenon' or 'these phenomena'. 'Toward' is not the same at all as 'towards', in any country but America, certainly not the UK, nor Australia, no matter what that doyen of rubbish English, Paul Barclay on ABC RN, thinks. Or some bloke, apparently clever enough to be an ABC RN interviewee, talking about fish and saying 'haff to', instead of 'have to', and 'there is more fish', instead of 'there are more fish'. Or half an hour later some unlearned but apparently important interviewee saying 'the next problems is nutrient limitation'. Less than an hour after that, 'Half of Australia don't know the answer'. Again, this was followed by, on the Phillip Adams show, on ABC RN the same day. A woman talking well about Bernard Madoff’s ponzi scheme, saying that "computerisation and globalisation was going to change …". Within hours, an interviewee on the ABC RN Science Show repeat saying 'those sort of things'. Later, in a repeat of The Spirit of Things on ABC RN, “the best as we can”, from an interviewee, rather than “the best we can”. Or someone saying, 'these sort of ideas' very soon afterwards.  Please excuse my use of single quotation marks (and any typos caused by this new near blindness). I might use the quotes elsewhere. Enough is too much, already. This is getting quite ridiculous! Impossible. Any more and I'd slash my ankles. Who would blame me? It's far too much work, and I'm already too busy to be attending to inarticulate morons and how they use the Mother Tongue. And I think Ramona Koval is a very good journalist, one of the best and most interesting in Australia. But when she says, 'The Movietime team were there", it's like having a sasquatch or something fiercely playing with my spine. Within a couple of hours, I heard someone say "I really liked writing it". What did she mean? Really really, like very, or really really, like especially? Three hours later, Natasha Mitchell of All in the Mind, said, "a stimuli (stimulus) that's (which has) gone astray". Then Mike Woods reporting from Melbourne, "there was many times" ... within hours, there 'was' even more malapropisms. Then hours afterwards, on ABC RN News, "there is many singers". Barely minutes later, Amanda Smith on Artworks, interviewing some woman with both an execrable speaking voice, and an execrable Australian accent, said, "outside of China", as a young American might, rather then saying the Anglo-Australian, "outside China". More Australian-American English, spoken by our erudite elite, and paid for by the taxpayer. On that very day, in this episode, Paul Barclay asked a forensic scientist, what the word 'forensic' means. I thought the answer that it is 'science as applied to the law', was woefully inadequate, compared with what I believe the word to mean. Then, soon after, Carl William's killer, which should be - quite obviously, I'd have thought - be 'Carl Williams's killer', on ABC RN News. The poor bloke's surname wasn't 'Wiliam'. It was 'Williams'. (Two hours later, some expert saying, "one hours later". Regarding 'forensic', I immediately decided to search among the many definitions on the Net, and this one (abridged by me, to fit in one paragraph -- and hyperlinks are not included) comes from the estimable Merriam-Webster:

"Definition of FORENSIC
belonging to, used in, or suitable to courts of judicature or to public discussion and debate; argumentative, rhetorical; relating to or dealing with the application of scientific knowledge to legal problems <forensic medicine> <forensic science> <forensic pathologist> <forensic experts>; fo·ren·si·cal·ly adverb; See forensic defined for English-language learners »; See forensic defined for kids »; Origin of FORENSIC; Latin forensis public, forensic, from forum forum; First Known Use: 1659; Other Legal Terms; actionable, alienable, carceral, chattel, complicity, decedent, larceny, malfeasance, modus operandi."

Exactly. What the dictionary says is hardly how the expert defined the word. These days, perhaps he doesn't even know, like a butcher thinking zucchinis are cows' meat. I would have said just as Merriam-Webster says, but I'd have said "17^th Century". I didn't know it was 1659. Now I do, and shall try to remember the definition, and date of first citation. I have time, and it seems to me to be worthwhile to increase my vocabulary, and my historical date skills for the Almanac, and for me as a person.

Following this, Paul Barclay asked a caller to Australia Talks, "Was forensics helpful?" Oh, dear. The estimable Mr Barclay yet again, and again. Immediately following that, a caller to the program said, "It's not like a computer or phone and doesn't get infected often ...". You try to figure that one out! Even if you allow for the fact that the bloke said, 'or', and not 'nor'. Within an hour, a female reporter (with an unfortunate speaking voice, although well-researched on Astroturfing - some of my Almanac work has been Astroturfed, virused, and trojanned, at least five or six times before I blocked them - I hope) on Background Briefing, very befuddled with English. She uttered a ridiculous malapropism. It was so bad, I raced to jot the whole thing on this page, did so on paper first, lost the scrap of paper, and forgot what the phrase was. (Running, I nearly fell off the tall stairs up to the bedroom/Almanac office.) But it was a shocker. And then she mentioned, many times, the social networking site, 'Twidder', and if there's one thing which really gets my goat, it's 'Twidder'. Then a few hours later, "See if they can do it correct" (huh?), said Maree O'Halloran on Lifematters, speaking on an important social issue, Surviving on Newstart. Even later that day, Alice Ping on First Person ... well, say no more. These 'experts' should learn English, for gawd's sake. Good, Australian-accented English. I can't teach them, unless they find me online and want to pay me a very lot of money. As they probably earn, in comparison with pensioners. But read on, if you will. Gods, or goddesses, or whatever the hell’s up there, bless you all. Please excuse some typographical and hyperlinking errors on this and other pages, which are clear to your almanackist as much as to the reader, but very hard to repair with his damaged computer. All in good time. 'Across the sea'. Thus spake an ABC RN interviewer on September 29, 2011, about the Pacific Ocean. It's an ocean, the largest in the world. It's not a little sea, like the Mediterranean. The Pacific Sea is the Pacific Ocean.

At least I wasn't murdered or horrifically maimed, the way the Yememi police shot so many defenseless protesters. One woman on ABC RN said in 2 hours she saw "more than" sixty people shot, and many in agony.

Got an idea for an image? There’s some room left for this page. God/s/goddesses/whatever the hell’s up there, bless you. Pip Wilson

2SM: A Sydney Radio Station acronymed after Saint Mary, and what people (like me) can say to a coffee shop attendant when they wasn two sugars and milk.
9*6*7: It's not slang, argot, vernacular, malapropism. I have no dea what it is, but it keeps popping into my head. I used two asterics in case it's an old
password. It's not one now, I know that for sure, and not on my destop, that's the main thing. Brain damaged, indubitably. A Bex, a cup of tea and a good lie down: A rest. Derived from Bex, a former brand of pain killer, now banned, a stock formula used to describe a once-popular method of relaxation. (Days later) I found it! Now I knaw what that number represents. It's close to my debit card passnumber - only close. It was driving me even more nuts. Ah, sweet Mr Re of Life, at last I've found thee!

A

The version of the rhyme I learned was A for horses, B, I hope it stingsya, (also B for mutton - beef or mutton), C for sailors, D for rential (differential), E for or (either/or), F for vescent (effervescent), G for police (chief of police) ... L for Leather (hell for leather) ... R for Mo (or R for Murray - Arthur Murray) ... T for two ... I fergit the rest. The simple letter 'b' is often used by those who eschew profanity. Like Gra-Gra's "fark", it was never in the media. A 1960s song about the Red Baron (look him up in the Almanac!) was 'beeped' out when it said "the bloody red baron". Australia's grown up, nowhere nearly enough, but quite a bit, since those days.

A bit cocky: Rather proud of oneself.
A given: Something that is axiomatic. A way of telling someone that you'll do something, or agreeing with a comment they made. Also, "It's a given that it gets hot in Summer".
ABC gum: Abbreviation for 'Already Been Chewed gum', second-hand chewing gum.
About the size of it: Very much as it is. Used to agree that someone's opinion or description of a situation is correct.
Ace!: Excellent! Very good! To achieve an A grade (eg, 'She aced her test').
Acka Dacka: AC/DC.
Adidas, flamingo: Hugely popular farewell, heard in public places, seen on the Internet, and so on. The 'adidas' is prononounced 'addy-dass' (as I'm informed
by the clearly brain-damaged man who coined the saying).
Ads: I've noticed that, like Americans, Australians have always called them that, or 'commercials', but the British 'adverts' seems to be increasing.
Aerial pingpong: Australian Rules football, aka 'Aussie Rules' or 'footy'.
Aeroplane: Traditionally, British and English users have spelt it thus, Americans write 'airplane'. Noah Webster started the ball rolling (that's a slang
term in Britain, Australia and America still) with his spelling reform. Seems OK to me, but there will still be endless probems until the UN sorts it out.
English is always quite rapidly changing, perhaps corrupting. And technology has a lot to do with it. For example, in the spotlight, in the limelight, both
new in the last 150 years. A propos of planes, both my paternal grandparents were born in 1890, and they did in 1974, which made them 13 ehen the Wright
Brothers flew, and they lived some years after Armstrong walked on the Moon. You'll see plenty of new stuff at GeekCode (and please don't get upset if I say 'stuff', it's bad for stomach ulcers, they used to say, though these days we know that bacteria, not stress, causes those, thanks to Australian Barry James
Marshall who found that Helicobacter pylori (H. pylori) is the cause of most peptic ulcers. Another interesting example is 'safety net'. Commonly used in Britain, the USA, and Australia, it derives from the circus.
Actually: Quite commonly used by Australians when no word is needed and silence would suffice. For example, 'I actually like going shopping'.
Aggravate: A preponderance of Australians appear to confuse the word with 'irritate'. I find that really aggravating, and it ticks me off.
Alright: There seems to be a regional difference. South Australians seem to spell it thus, and NSW people 'all right'.
Afflicted with talent: A poetry night organiser said it of Pip Wilson, poor chap. It's a curse, and one hopes he'll try to amend his ways. Get well as well.
Alcopops: A derogatory term describing certain flavored alcoholic beverages, including malt beverages to which various fruit juices or other flavorings have
been added, beverages containing wine to which ingredients such as fruit juice or other flavorings have been added (wine coolers), beverages containing
distilled alcohol and added ingredients such as fruit juices or other flavorings. More than one-half of adults believe alcopops promote underage drinking.
All get out: Something that is an extreme exemplar of a characteristic. Always used in a comparison, as in, 'He yarns as much as all get out'.
Aim Archy at the Armitage: Take a pee in a dunny bowl. Also Point Percy at the porcelain. One of many phrases in our slang lexicon coined by Barry Humphries and Sir Les Patterson.
All give and no take: "In order for a relationship to stay together, each party must put some work into the relationship, and they must appreciate the results. Sometimes, this exchange is even 'fair. Of course, it can also become a very sick relationship when it's All Take and No Give. This trope comes in two flavors (sic) with a middle ground ..." Television Tropes and Idioms
All over me like a cheap suit: To be excessively amorous, sycophantic or admiring ('He was all over her like a cheap suit.').
All over me like a rash: Likewise. Would that it would happen more.
All right!: Hooray! Congratulations! Often spelled 'alright'. (USA, sometimes various states' education systems).
Amber fluid (amber liquid): Beer. 'Australia's favourite beverage.' Although beer is now the most popular alcoholic drink in Australia, this was not always the case. The drink of choice for the first settlers and convicts was rum.

Cut yer name across me backbone
Stretch me skin across yer drum
Iron me up on Pinchgut Island
From now to Kingdom Come.
I'll eat yer Norfolk Dumpling
Like a juicy Spanish plum,
Even dance the Newgate Hornpipe
If ye'll only gimme Rum!
Traditional Convict Song

Ambo: Ambulance, ambulance driver.
Americano Black espresso coffee: 'Drinks'.
American cheese: Processed foodstuff resembling cheese, dyed orange.
American coffee: Filtered coffee.
American crap: No one in the world believes it any more, except a few Americans and some others. Some people find any mention of normal body parts and bodily functions (even old English words like 'crap'), human or non-humn, distasteful, and the belief is widespread, much more widespread, in my view, than concern, say, than for war, disease, crime, and so on. I even heard a scientist on ABC RN say "I don't know whether I should mention this, but we measured the bat's penis". Why didn't he know whether he should mention it? What should he mention? Its ears? Thomas Crapper (d. January 27, 1910), English plumber who is said to have patented the flush toilet (see Snopes on this). It's a dysphemism for 'toilet'. The word 'crap', taboo in some places, came to English from Dutch (meaning 'chaff') in the 15^th Century. It came to mean 'defecate' from 1846; Thomas Crapper's business wasn't established until 1861. Moreover, the man didn't 'invent' the flush toilet (the ancient Minoans had them); he improved the design.

Much of the confusion comes from Wallace Reyburn's Flushed with Pride: The Story of Thomas Crapper (1969). His 'biography' of Crapper has often been dismissed as a complete fabrication, as some of his other works (most notably Bust-Up: The Uplifting Tale of Otto Titzling and the Development of the Bra are obviously satirical fiction. Although Flushed with Pride is, like Bust-Up, a tongue-in-cheek work full of puns, jokes, and exaggerations, Reyburn did not invent the person of Thomas Crapper as he did Otto Titzling. In Flushed with Pride, Reyburn's satire rests on the framework of a real man's life. Thomas Crapper was not, as Reyburn wrote, the inventor of the flush toilet, a master plumber by appointment to the royals who was knighted by Queen Victoria, or an important figure whose achievements were written up in the Encyclopaedia Britannica; one will search vainlessly for evidence that contemporary authorities took any notice of Mr Crapper, for mention of him in biographical dictionaries, nor for his obituary notice in the Times of London. Although Thomas Crapper might not have been a man of importance to his contemporaries, he was indeed a real person, a sanitary engineer in 19th-Century London who ran his own plumbing concern, who took out several patents on plumbing-related devices, and whose name can still be spotted on manhole covers around London.

The term first appeared in print in the 1930s, and it has been suggested that US soldiers stationed in England during World War I (some of whom had little experience with indoor plumbing) saw many toilets printed with T. Crapper in the glaze and brought the word home as a synonym for 'toilet'. Another theory is that the association came from the verb to crap, meaning 'to defecate' (recorded since 1846 according to Oxford), and the connection to Thomas Crapper is an unfortunate coincidence of his surname. Yet another explanation is that Crapper's flush toilet advertising was so widespread that 'crapper' became a synonym for 'toilet' and people simply assumed that he was the inventor. 'Crapper' remains an Americanism, but has fallen into disuse.The noun 'crap' is old in the English language, one of a group of words applied to discarded cast offs, like 'residue from renderings' (1490s) or in Shropshire, 'dregs of beer or ale', meanings probably extended from Middle English crappe 'chaff, or grain that has been trodden underfoot in a barn' (c. 1440), deriving ultimately from Late Latin crappa, 'chaff'. The occupational name Crapper is a variant spelling of 'Cropper'.

Ankle biter: Small child.
And stuff: And things, certain matters. And so on. It's a slang term I use a bit too often, I believe, maybe too often, both in speech and in writing. However, I'm working on it. I'm patient, and I hope you are as well, as I learn to use this reinvigorated but recently expensively damaged computer, with software hassles, and poor eyesight. With determination for up to 18 hours a day, one can do it. Thanks a lot, reader. Pip.
And that: Sometimes pronounced "an' 'at", by less-educated people, usually male, it equates to "and so on, and so forth'.
Anothery: Another one. As in, "I had anothery for the slang Dick and Harry, but I fergit."
Ants in the pants: Restless.
Antsy: Restless (USA).
Anyhoo: Anyhow, anyway, 'at any rate' is often used, and sometimes, 'anyhows'. 'Anyhow' was used in a popular Paul Hogan TV commercial for a brand of cigarette.
Apopletic: Overcome with anger; extremely indignant. Denoting apoplexy. Not quite right. (I’ve heard some Australians say “apoplectic”. I'm sorry. We're almost entirely mental.)
Apples, she'll be: It'll be all right; things will work out well in the end.
Arsehole: Human (usually) anus; foolish person.
Arse: Human psterior, anus.
Arse about: Also 'fool about', 'mess about' and 'muck about', it means to waste time. In high school, we had interminable school assemblies, in the cold, or
raging sun, 1,200 boys in woollen blazers on a concrete quadrangle. The principal, as people are calling the noun these days under the influence of American
TV, or a teacher, used to bellow like a WWII military officer, "Class!! About ... face!!!" You can guess what some boys said under their breath.
Arsehole: Arsehole: Human anus, foolish person. That reminds me too.
Arselicker: Toady, fool, idiot.
Arsewipe: Someone detestable.
Arthuritis: A very good friend of mine says this, and I don't believe she's met Arthur. Aparently he's crook. Twenty per cent of Australians have the damn
thing.
Arvo: Afternoon.
As busy as a bee: Very busy.
As busy as a cat burying shit: Very busy.
As cunning as a shithouse rat: Very cunning,
As dry as a pommy's towel: Very dry. Based on the canard that English people bathe about once a month.
As dry as a nun's nasty: Very dry; thirsty.
As fit as a Mallee bull: Very fit and strong. The Mallee is very arid beef country in Victoria/South Australia.
As mental as a hatful of arseholes: Perhaps 'not quite the full quid'. Given to unorthodox behaviour. Slightly deranged.
As rare as a spot on a blue dog: Very scarce. Like some people I know. Maybe like writers such as Pip Wilson.
As rare as hens' teeth: I asked Chutney or Chase or Chase or Chutney the Chook to show me her choppers, and she didn't have any, not that I could see, anyway (rather like me),
so I guess it means 'very rare'.
As slow as a wet weak: Very slow, like this computer. I try not to palaver about it, but, Lawd help me.
At the end of the day: Finally. American slang gone beresk.
At this point in time: Now.
Aren't I: Am I not? Scots, Kwan Yin bless 'em, often ask "am't I?"
Arse about Charlie: Reversed, arse about face, got the bull by the foot.
Arse about face: Reversed. We used to say it at high school when a teacher or headmaster used to bellow: "Class! ... About! ... face!"
Arse backwards: Revered.
Ash plume: A  great amount of volcanic ash causing havoc in airlines' timetables. In June, 2011, one covered much of southern Australia from a volcano in Chile, causing problems.
Asylum seeker: Reffo, con artist, wastrel.
At the end of the day: Now very commonly used rather than 'finally', which is Pipspeak. An example is, 'at the end of the day it turned around', meaning 'finally, it improved'.
Atomic wedgie: Wedgie of such force that the band is separated from the rest of the underpants.
Auntie: Aunt; female Indigenous elder; ABC (derived from UK's slang term for BBC). Also a word commonly used by Indigenous people for a female elder, as
'Uncle' is used for a male. There are many Aboriginals around Bellingen, especially Kellys, and I've known many. In fact, I was recently at Uncle Tom's 81^st birthday party. A good do.
Aussie (I'm pro 'Ozzie', roughly speaking): Australian, as in the antique song, 'Izzy an Aussie, izzy Lizzie?'.
Aussie salute: Brushing away flies from one's face with the hand.
Austrayia: Australia. Her Majesty persists in calling it "Orstralia".
Avos: Avocados, not long-established here, but growing in popularity.
Ay to: Able to. It's very new English. I've only noticed it for about half my life.

Argot/Jargon
'Emotional resilience' used to be a argot of people working in the business of psychology (I studie 'psych', as we called it, for a few months but found learning 'stats' too hard), but now it's become part of the common tongue, particulary since ABC began using the term ... (more to come)

Aussie nicknames

There's a great, long tradition of nicknames (mostly given to and by males) in this country. For example, some I remember from my own earlier life are Dynamite-brains Taylor, Chomedome, Baz or Bazza for Barry (long popular in Australia, it was further popularised by Barry Humphries., Fobbaloffomi (Fogliani, who had a different way of speaking from the usual), Frog, Fruitfly (bad acne) and Snerrot, which was the nice bloke's surname backwards, and Swampfrog. But they keep coming up, and I'll list them, not in afferbeck lauder, but as they occur to me. Quite a few I've long known, as well as those from yore.
For a few years, a growing number of children (about 15) around Bellingen, particularly in my street, have called me "Grandpa Pip". It's a nickname I cherish, but one I initiated myself, with good reason, I believe. I really love children. (My younger son's name is Remy. I didn't choose it, but I think it's a fine name, and I know he's become a fine man. Sometimes I call him 'Remington'.) I love seeing them, patting their puppies, maybe the kids' hair, breaking up fights (more authority with that name), helping them if they've skinned a knee ... anything at all, I'm just naturally a Hans Christian Anderson kind of bloke. I wrote dozens of children's poems (some still on this site) when I was 17, even had a book accepted by Angus and Robertson if they could choose the artist, but the illustrations had been done by my girlfiend (if you haven't worked out that I'm a stubborn and tenacious so-and-so yet, THIMK!), and I said Pip's "No thank you". These days, sadly, it's not a good look for a man to be seen doing Pip sorts of stuck with my guns. I sure don't want an argument with parents, nor to be abused, especially not beaten to death. So, that's my nickname, don't wear it out. Rather naturally, I trust, I'd like it to spread, and I wear it as a badge of honour, not one of shame. One of the best self-generated names I’ve heard is “Lollygooble Bliss Bomb”.

Kate Howorth, on ABC RN, said there were two nicknames in her life when she was a child. A bloke's name was Mister Magoo, because he wore spectacles, and hers was Midnight. She's well worth listening to. Her accent, slang, honesty, memoir, intelligence, personality and composure are excellent. In her childhood, there were two nicknames. His was Mister Magoo because he wore spectacles. Hers was Midnight. A child nicknamed 'Jacket' mentioned on ABC RN. Bellingen has a Pudlee. When I was a kid, a mate who was thin like me and about a foot shorter was Beefy. Or The Beef. Everyone called him that, even in his family. I still don’t know what his real name was.

I propose not to help us all build the list to be time-dependent. I suppose there were interesting nicknames on the First Fleet coming out from old Blighty, so if you find any, please send them in for the elucidation of us all. Here are some more I really like ( get so many good people contributing them, I'll just put the person's first name, and you might take it as read that I'm saying "thank you" and sending "bright blessings", as I often say, in my Pipster way. I also tell people that one of my catchcries is “Make a wonderful day, not have a nice day”. I’m a catchcry sort of bloke. I also tell people, I try not to say I’m good. None but the Lord Jesus Christ is good. I’m very well, thank you. That’s what Pampa taught me. And I’m hoping Mamma and Pampa will sometimes be used as alternative-occasional names by the grandkids when I’m with the woman I love. But it will be her choice as well. Natch.

Shoulders, Gazza (Garry), Tez or Tezza (Terry), Jez, Jezza (Jeremy), Stretch (usually a tall male, but sometimes ironically used of a short one), Rabbit (an old schoolteacher of mine, who unwittingly also rode a Rabbit motorbike - I think I'll do a whole item on Rabbit in my Memoirs soon) Rabbits (whether 'Warren' is given name or surname), Baxter (indicating a homosexual male, as in the saying, still common enough, 'Backs to the wall! Here's the poofter!'),
Chucka Mooney (still my real and Facebook 'friend'). Bluey (redhead), Nobby Clark, Nosey Parker, Crematorium of Music, Pickles, Gus (a friend of mine, as a child, resembled a bust of Roman Emperor Augustus Caesar, and the nickname stuck till at last his early adulthood), Chopper, Body Politic, or Student Body (when I was first at uni (I was kind to them and took 19 years to get a BA from Macquarie Uni) I had a mate, a nice boke, and at the completely opposite end of the political spectrum (the early '70 was a highly politicised time on campuses, here as in America, sit-ins and such), a chap who was obese and very involved in things. A devout Catholic, he stole thousands of copies of the student paper, Arena, which had a photo of a naked man on the cover). Those were his nicknames. AG Taylor was nicknamed Giraffe, Mudgee, or Mudgee Camel. My grandather's name was Pampa. I'm Grandpa Pip, my best
friend as a child had a Fa-Fa; funny how things come rushing back to you when you're older, and I turned 21 on the first day of Autumn. Two schoolday nicknames were Steelo, for a kid who had hair like Steelo, which was advertised on TV a lot when they produced Steelo Soap pads (the soapiest pads). I was a cleaner in a steel wool factory about 13 years ago, and I didn't see the joke. Then there was Ha-Ha Harvey. He was a nice bloke (hi-hi Hah-Ha, if you're
reading, which is as likely as fog on a hot night). He had smile like a happy Scaramouch. All the time. I spose it was just the way his face was made. Another kid was called Lippy. That's all I remember, not the name or personality, but he must have had both. I think kids only really took notice when he cried for being called 'Lippy', and had a laugh, made new taunting jokes. Kids really were cruel in those days (apparently more likely to have the punch-ups and school
fights we had (the group chant was "Fight! Fight!"), a generation before), and have clearly improved. Poor fella Lippy had an enormous lower lip. Vanessa the Undresser .

One Eye. One arsehole. One Jim. When I was new to Bellingen, that's how Jim introduced himself. He was about 70 or 80 years old, a bit of a drinker. It was said that you could count the men and the number of eyes and fingers in Bello, and they didn't add up, because of the sawmilling industry. In those days, sawmilling caused very many human injuries. I had a friend, and I'm still friends, with the woman who saved a man's arm, by putting it in an Esky without ice, 'die'). Within six weeks or so, thanks to modern surgery, he was able to grip my hand. Then there were Glass-Eye, the bloke with the crazy eyes, and in the '70s, Hans, whose surname so resembles male masturbatory slang, I shan't mention it. Crackers. Jaws (kid with braces on his teeth). Tangledfangs (a boy with such teeth he was "the only kid who can eat bananas through the strings of a tennis racquet". Little Johnny (he's actually taller than Bob Hawke and Joh Bjelke-Petersen, but Hawkie acted big and Joh looked big). Got some more? Kindly send them in.

Unusual Bellingen first names

In my youth, you were John, Philip, Robert, Margaret, Bronwyn, Susan ... interesting, but boring and predictable at the same time. Before that it was Maud, Albert, George, Elizabeth, and many more. Then came Kylie andJason. Bello has had a strong 'hippie' culture, with a determination to do things one own's way. They were called 'Chstian names' in those days. We now having 'naming ceremonies' as much as  'christening' and 'baptisms'. The best hippie name I heard was a baby born who was nameded Mango Frangipani. My wish is not to identify anyone here, just to document the phenomenon, so I won't use surnames. Anyone who wants their names removed, prhaps because of spiritual or religious beliefs, or any other reason, may email me and I'll remove it immediately. The list is growing (and I intend to make this new list a big page in its own right). Not all consider themselves hippies, that's not the point. Just unusual Bellingen first names. Only first names will be mentioned, so no one may be identified. There might be a Mango Smith and a Mango Jones. So, send them in if you can share it for posterity. I commence here:

Misty, Faerie Laura,  Persia, Miabella (my granddaughter), Rocky, Sapphire ...

Malapropisms

September 29, 2011. 8:56 am.

Australians have good bullshit detectors. Germaine Greer, et al. I've decided to rewrite the Malapropisms section, and publish it by October 1, 2011, because ABC Radio National and BBC World Service, their journalists and interviewees often use such appalling English, I would no longer provide all the details of the malapropism and embarrass anyone. I shan't say whether it was a staffer, or a caller (maybe from the back of Bourke, uneducated, and with five kids, battling bushfires,  floods and drought, maybe on his or her own), nor an interviewee. I'm removing anything which identifies anyone (kindly scroll down if you really wish to see the work in progress), and because I trust you can google OK, I'm removing many of the quips I've made, because I suppose you can make your own. Frankly, while it's been interesting and fun, it was too much work for me, and I have a lot to do. They won't be in alphabetical order, just noted here as I hear or read a malapropism, either in real life, or in the media. By the way, if someone ever uses a malapropism in front of me, I take pains not to correct them. Very occasionally I wait some time, and use the correct word or phrase. What is 'correct' English, is always a moot point, but I do try to keep up with the latest, and keep learning. Occasionally, I intend to give references and links to one or more sites, or further information, which elucidate the malapropism. And my rules are, I must have heard it with my own ears, either in person or on radio, or actually read someone using such a malapropism, not read about it, neither in a book, nor on a website. I intend my rewrite to be finished very soon, in the week beginning Sunday, September 25, 2011. I might add that I sometimes utter malapropisms as well. I'm training myself out of saying, as many Australians do, "I just got it". It's replete with inexact speech, if you consider it. I might have bought 'it' several days ago. Intonation matters, in such cases, too, and possible misunderstandings of that simply constructed term are legion. Many Aussies occasionally say, "Enough's too much", and "too much is not enough", sometimes about the same thing. This is such a situation. Capiche? Non? OK. Me neither. Please note, there is a difference betwen which and that. Many don't realise the convention, and some examples will be posted here.

It's hard to know where slang ends and malapropism, class, race and dialect begin, but here goes. For example, 'in them days' - common enough in Australia with Indigenous and working-class white people, and in pubs, seems a mixture of all three. However, hearing these kinds of things on big, public radio stations, makes a cove scratch his head and run away. I'm not saying they're right or wrong, but I was taught they're wrong. My own attitude is that one should be flexible, but not incorrect in a language which has come to have some boundaries in its many hundreds of years. And I find it interesting to watch the idiom and slang change. I hope you do. Many are from ABC RN, Australia's Radio National.

Myself and my team: I regret that I can't even find an excuse for this clanger. It's just wrong, like 'My team and me'. It's not English now, and never was.
I'm afraid that it doesn't even have the cleverness or dignity of slang, some obscenity, argot/jargon - nothing. Nad:. It's just.. . wrong. Fortunately, it's
quite rarely heard. This particular example was heard in an interview with an American electric transportation expert from Nissa I've tried, but am unable to
find any verification that it's correct, or slang, in the US of A. May we expunge it from 'the Mother Tongue'? Let's use a good dictionary to decipher the
large differences between 'I', 'me' and 'myself', shall we? Or speak Swahili, maybe Mandari. Although, being a foss, I do like this variation of the silly
thingo. (George rocks.)
Sufficient enough: 'Sufficient' suffices. This is becoming so common, that those who don't think we've entered Australian Idiocracy (I hope you haven't been corrupted and can still google and/or click my own links), ought to think about it if possible. Or debate me. Maybe I'm wrong, or 'presumptious' (!), as so many say these days.
Divert away: Divert. Heard nearly every day by those stalwart guardians of the mother tongue, ABC RN, and its SCOSE (Slack-arse Committee on
Spoken English). An aside: The ABC (I gave up TV in about 1974, having grown up in a TV shop and ODing on it - I just listen to radio or watch/listen to what I like on the Net if I crave diversion or education) is so awash with the kinds of English-language laxity for which my primary school teachers would have thrown a book at me, had I said or written such things, that I can't keep up. I have a new plan. I intend to put here, and on the new Malapropisms page I intend to build when I have sufficient clangers, as many ABC gaffes as I can find or which readers send me by email. I don't mind if the person is an ABC boss, a top presenter, an interviewer, a prominent guest - no one. I like the language. I'll do my best to name the show, because I do consider this a
worthwhile thing to do as I approach my dotage. Shall I be sued? Well, speaking of awash, by sheer chance, largely, my life happens to be full of PhDs,
lawyers (a close friend at whose wedding I was best man, one of the few people who visited me in hospital, with the Australian record of $10 million for a
compo case), magistrates, PR people, journalists, court-official mates, writers, doctors, academics, professors, linguists (ask anyone who knows me well),
early-retired, rather idle senior Public Service friends -- plus, I have a linguistics-major degree myself, and am rather articulate and horribly tenacious,
as many friends and enemies know. Not only am I not cowed, I rather look forward to winning a motzah. Sometimes, not as often as the 'cognoscenti' of the ABC, I make some English errors. Not as many. So ... sue me.
Amount: It applies to things like flour or coal. Number refers to things like apples.
Past experience: Damn! Still waiting for future experience. I never get it.
Which: That. Unbelievably common error, though in dispute. I believe that Shakespeare used it a couple of times - but I still don't like it much, in the C21.
Near to a house: Heard from newsreader, BBC, May 5, 2011, 4pm. Not only is 'near a house' correct in English, it's more economical across the tens of
millions of people listening and forking out good money out to pay for airtime. Very confusing.
That he says: Who he says. BBC World News, May 3, 2011, 4:43pm. 'Who' is clearly a better word when referring to humans.
Which he ...: I'd have thought it should be 'that he', but I welcome dialogue/debate on that, as on all language matters I discuss, if anyone disagrees. Heard by an announcer on the online BBC News station in a station promo, on May 6, 11:58 am. Likewise 12:39, 'that ripped communities' apart, rather than 'which ripped ...'.
Different to: Different from. Commonly heard. I've head 'different than' a few times. Perhaps American.
Reticent: Frequently used instead of 'reluctant'.
At this point in time: Now. A favourite of pollies and the well educated. Why?!
Reason why: Reason, reason that. Dr Ben Saul, ABC RN, May 6, 5:35pm. And, dear heart: Tsk!
Had have: Had. Common, like 'had've', 'had of'. ABC RN, May 7, 5:52pm, quoting someone.
Disorientate: Disorient. ABC RN, May 8, 3:24am
At the end of the day: As a sign of honour, once anyone is sufficiently powerful and/or educated, that person is permitted to us such a phrase rather than
'finally', 'sometime', 'dunno' or 'I don't fucking know'. As a guest said on ABC RN, May 8, 10:15am.
These kind of: Clearly, this should be plural. It's always been a common Australian gaffe, but on building sites, in pub salons, and so on. It is, however,
becoming unbelievably common on the 'woiless', such as, May 8, 1:30pm, Sunday Profile.
ATM Machine: An Automatic Teller Machine Machine. Common, lamented, malapropism.
Protest against, the BBC interviewer said: Surely 'protest' suffices - or does it not? Two minutes later, the interviewee said "the area where I live". It's
a redundant 'where', I'd have thought. May 9, 6:13am.
'Reason that' seems to be becoming 'reason why' at a rate of knots. Why - I mean 'that' - is too hard for me to fathom. Even today, May 9, 1:51pm, ABC-RN, guest.
Combined together: I'm a cranky old pedant, and a skinflint, so for me, 'combined' will do and saves a few shekels in bytes. Besides, I have a
disability and might even die one day, of all the rotten luck! No way! To be taught English!!
Is there any protests being mounted?: Umm ... how might I answer that question and still not have English-speakers laugh? BBC World Service, 7:12pm, same day. Like "there is some gaps" at 7:23. Too many gaps for me, there is. I speak Inglitch.
The decision to temporarily close: Willo splits hairs. BBC World Service splits infinitives but. 9:03pm.
I think it was: Perhaps this is pedantic, but I believe this is really sloppy thinking if it's actually meant to be "I think it might have been". For
example, "I think it was a Chinese sub that took Harold Holt from Cheviot Beach - back to China." Another example comes to mind, quite readily as you'll
understand: "I think it was so-and-so who had the motive and opportunity to beat you around the head and chest and leave you to die", when that would not only appear to be rather lousy grammar, it's a matter of nonsense. The person they're talking about is a friend, and the friend of a friend, the motive thing
has been exaggerated around Bellingen (I don't believe it, not because I refuse to, nor try to, but because I don't, and it's clear to me he had none, nor
opportunity), and I have other suspicions - a person or persons with no motive whatsoever except pure mayhem. Besides, it's guesswork, and as I've said often enough, "If suspicions were horses, beggars could ride". The amateur sleuth stuff is worse
Often there is 10, 20, 30, 40 a day: Expert in bus casualties in India. Even if there are half that number, something should be done about it. BBC World
Service, May 11, 2011, 2:54 pm.
To actually throw: (BBC World Service, May 13, 9:07pm.) Is this not yet another of the myriad of split infinitives on this station? Call me old-fashioned.
Call me an Anglophile. Call me a pee-dant. Call me Pip. But call me a taxi. I'm out of here - till ('til'?) the next one.
Being a ...: Having been a. ABC-RN News, May 14, 2011 2:02 pm.
Upcoming: I don't care if you're BBC, ABC, a PhD, anything. If you say that instead of 'forthcoming', you will die.
Adverse: Shouldn't that be 'averse'? ABC-RN as ever. May 14, 7:24 pm.
Might: Differs from 'may'. Look it up! I was subbing my GeekCode page, when I found that its original author had written David Ogden Stiers'. It needs a 's after 'Stiers', I trow.
Imformation, innit?, for 'isn't it?' and hypmatism (my auntie said it) are incredibly common mispronounciations in Australia. So is
'mispronounciation'. Too weird. I use it whenever I have an opportunity. I moight hafta move meself to anuvver Straya, or somefink - or sunnik else, anyways.
Mebbee get me a new ankle bricelet. Stuff loike vat. Vat's me bassic point. Ramona Koval said 'pronounciation' at 8:42 pm, May 17, 2011.
The media is: I would have thought that the media are. However, this is changing, on BBC, ABC, and most people. I'm old school.
Elaine Heumann Gurian, a consultant and adviser to museums all over the the world. Artworks, May 17, about 3:15 pm said "There is a lot ...". I
suppose that's acceptable, but I was taught to say 'are a lot'. What it especially liked about her, apart from her museum expertise, was her spelling of
David Hulme. It sure helped me Google him to know it wasn't Hume. Mmm, a beer would be nice.
At the same token: Isn't that 'by the same token'?: ABC RN interviewee, May 18, 2011, 12.33 am.
Basic tenor of the case: Not 'tenet'? ABC RN interviewee, May 1, 2011, 12.35 am.
Stuff which you create: Maybe 'stuff that you create'? ABC RN interviewee, 12:40-ish am, May 18.
Something that everyone: Something which everyone. Another interviewee, ABC RN, 12:47 pm.
Announced Malaysia: I know it's longer, and uses more electrons, but doesn't 'announced that Malaysia', as used by the 7 am ABC RN News (May 18),
make a bit more sense?
The committee were persuaded: It was persuaded. BBC World Service, May 18, 8:55 am.
Is a very clear criteria: Guest, BBC WV, March 19, 2011,1:15 am. Oh, my. Again? Twice in 24 - a re-peat. At least it's on philanthropy, sorta. See my
Search for that stuff. Look up top, meatheads. I ain't interested.
A firm enough footing so that: Barack Obama means "... a firm enough footing that ...". Sigh! Again, Mister President? BBC WN, May 22, 10:10 pm.
One of the first countries ... was both England and Wales: Damn! What a schmendrick I am. I count two. Interviewee, ABC RN, someone brilliant, May
26, 2011, 12:42 am.
These type of: This type of. Paul Barclay, Australia Talks, ABC RN, June 8, '11. 7:50 am. (This clanger, and 'these kind of' are quite common on ABC RN.)
There is solar cookers: Wonderful that Tibet is so technologically advanced. But there ARE solar cookers, I believe. Peter Marks, ABC RN, June 8, '11
It won't be the same as it always was: Please excuse me. Is it insufficient to say "It won't be the same"? Sorry. I don't get the point. ABC RN, June 10,
'11, 6:53 pm.
Sarah Moany: This one's very common for 'ceremony', especially with Aboriginal people, for rather obvious reasons, and I think they may speak as they like. I do. Hope you do. ABC RN, June 10, '11, 2:43 am
Testament to a community: Testimony to a community. ABC RN June 12, 1106 am.
There is more than one complaint: There is more than one complaint, so there are complaints. Fran (an engaging radio personality) then said " We need a
gorilla like Fran Kelly interviewing Julia Gillard, ABC RN, 1:55 am, June 15. Perhaps interviewing the Prime Minister makes it OK. Later, an interviewer
said, "Write it in your diary even". It's more common to have this sentence construction that, "Even write it in your diary". I prefer the former, very much.
Nine pm at night: A common malapropism, as is 9 am in the morning, not only Australian, as Mary Hopkin's song, Moonlight shadow, says the latter. Clearly, both are not quite acceptable English, as pm means post-meridian (after middday), and am means ante-meridian, before noon.
Lay Night Live: How some woman announced 'Late Night Live' one night in June, 2011. I'll give her a break. Sounds new.
That's a good question: I hear this so often from interviewees on ABC RN, I won't enumerate them. Are these people beset by bad questions? I'd give up.
The family who: The family which, or that. Interviewee, Late Night Live, June 13, 10:48 pm.
Supermarket managers are predicting across-the-board price rises for everyday food items. Coke, Cadbury, Mars and McDonald's: I suppose they mean every day, not everyday.
Reconfirm: Confirm, for the first time. Philip 'Pip'Wilson, BA, almanackist, North Bellingen, NSW, Australia, arranging an appointment with a speech
pathologist via her answerphone, rather than a brain specialist's. June 14, 3:53 pm.everyday (big difference). And what a diet! Herald-Sun, June 14, 2011
Most brainiest: Andrew O'Keefe, author. National Interest, ABC RN, http://www.abc.net.au/rn/nationalinterest
Can Julia Gillard rule out that other ministers have not conducted themselves in a similar way? (I'd be much more interested if they had conducted themselves in a similar way.) Some dynamite brains politician, ABC RN, June 14, 2:04 pm.
Road to hoe: Row to hoe. Romana Koval, ABC RN, June 15, 2011, 6:15 pm.
Disintest: Uninterest. ABC RN, June 19, 11:35 am.
Julian McMahon willl launch an appeal to the president: Surely he should launch to the president an appeal.
It's Andrew Chan's gonna get the chop: ABC RN June 18, 7:17 am.
That patterns: Those patterns. Paul Barclay, Australia Talks (repeat)June 22, 3:52am
Interpretating: Interpreting? Phillip Adams, LNL, June 23 (repeat), 4:40 pm. I thought perhaps Adams was deliberately malapropising, becuse he's a smart guy with a sense of humour, then at 4:49 pm he said 'normalicy'. Now I'm not sure.
One year anniversary: ABC RN, June 21, 7:57 am.
That the leaders of the Nationals are extolling the virtues of: One is glad, yea, even ecstatic, that someone's extolling the virtues of anything at all, but
"of which the Nationals are extolling the virtues" might do it, quite nicely. Julia Gillard, Prime Minister of Australia, ABC RN News, July 23. 10:02 pm.
Whether or not: ABC RN News, June 25, 11:01 pm.
These kind of: Emmanual Skoutas of Philosophy Dep't of Dandenong High School, Philosopher's Zone, June 28, 2:57 am.
Everyone have an understanding: At about the same time, as I went to bed, someone, not an ABC staffer, whose name I didn't record said this on ABC RN.
Mischievious: Mischievous. It's obviously not just Australian. I heard the Dalai Lama say it on The Spirit of Things. Unless he learned it down under.
There has been no studies: There have been no studies. Interviewee, ABC RN, June 28, 2011, 6:55 pm.
On ABC RN, June 30, Fran Kelly asked her interviewee "is there any still standing?" Are there any still standing? The interview was interesting, though, about the Tree of Knowledge at Barcaldine.
This agenda has: These agenda have. Mick Goodna, ABC RN, in an excellent talk (no patronising implied whatsover - I'm weary of being patronised myself). June 30, 6:43 pm.
There has been many: Amanda Smith, on Artworks, the second person on ABC on July 3, 2011 by noon I'd heard confuse number. Seems to me to be language evolving. Me, old school.
There is fewer: There are fewer: Professor Bell of CSIRO, Rear Vision, July 3.
Driver that hit her: Driver who hit her. Newsreader, ABC RN 9pm News, July 3.
Would have had to quit: Would have had to have quit. Interviewee, Health Report, July 4, 8:36 am.
These kind of people: Associate Professor Christine Jorm, Sydney Medical School. News and PM, July 4, 5:51 pm.
These type of deals: Paul Barclay, July 4, 6:32 pm. At 5:37, the interviewee said 'floundered', instead of 'foundered'. Two minutes later, Mr Barclay unnecessarily, IMHO, added 'but' to 'nonetheless'.
Is it still understandable now?: Redundant 'now'. BBC World Service interviewee, July 5, 8:39 am.
Opponents to: Should be 'opponents of'. Female politician  (just caught it). ABC PM, July 6.
This is some of the statistics: Philip Adams, Late Night Live, July 7. Oh, Phillip!
Is and was and were: So commonly confused, I've decided not to waste time listing, nor linking, all of these. They do mean different things.
Repeat it again on your program: Tony Abbott used this (presumed) tautology to Fran Kelly on July 11. Many Australians say 'repeat again', rather than 'repeat', so it's impossible to know whether they mean they're repeatimg for the first, or fiftieth, time.  Seems to me that someone who wants to be PM, and is a Rhodes Scholar, should tighten up his act a bit. Even if he was known by his critics, while studying at St Patrick's Seminary, Manly, as 'The Mad Monk'.
Altermate technology: Does Geoff Plumber on ABC RN, July 11, 12:30 pm, mean alternative technology, or every second technology? And why stress the first syllable, not the second, in 'alternate'? Must ask him some day. If I ever meet him. Then why does the program host say 'may blunt', rather than might blunten? Still scratching me noggin.
The only people that: Andrea Nield, Founding Director of Emergency, Architects Australia, ABC RN, July 11, 2011.
Those sort of things: So many Aussies say it, I intend not even to bother to mention it any more. But some bloke said it ABC RN on July 20, 9:11 am, talking about - what else - sport injuries. And I’d love a new computer so I can change this text colour. Maybe become a sports star on my road to Mister Universe. (Anyway, I worked out how to change the colour sometimes, but it’s hard to discern. Since having been bashed, my eyesight plays tricks. Ask Jools.)
One of the most spectacular things about the place are the floor: Phillip Adams, LNL, July 22.

The rest, quite a lot, is under construction, and should return by October 10, 2011, not long after my return from my Sydney trip, which is scheduled to commence on October 5, 2011, in the morning, AEST. There'll be no more references to people's names, so as not to embarrass anyone. I have a new way of doing the Malapropisms section, and I trust you'll like it, as I do. I shan't be hyperlinking anything, unless I think it useful at certain times, to some of us. We can all google, so no 'reaching down to the lowest common denominator. I'm confident that Wilson's Almanac readers will work things out, and ask someone, perhaps me, if it's a problem. I add that I intend to name the section 'Malapropisms and Australianisms', as I've heard so many very curious word usages on ABC Radio National and the BBC World Service from that benchmark of good English usage, the Beeb - used by allegedly 'educated' Aussies and Britishers, recently, and I wish to share them. It's almost mind-shredding, for example, to hear a well-known ABC RN journalist say "vica versa", rather than "vice versa". I intend to log such things, but maintain the speaker's anonymity. I trust you'll all stay well and happy, till my return. Almaniacs will please read up on which and that, as I shall be, particularly at this site. It can be tricky, as Restrictive and Nonrestrictive Cases can be, and are often used in a mistaken way. Pip Wilson, October 4, 2011, 3:54 am.

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