A link anywhere at all on all of Wilson's Almanac does not indicate approval, but my interest and recommendation.

Strange things in Australia. We must be as good as the seppos!

I nearly called the page 'Trust'. Who can we trust now?

By Pip Wilson

This is a very auspicious day for me, because I commenced three Almanac pages on one of my three birthdays, which are March 1, April 16 and August 6. I hadn't really remembered all of them, it was a fluke that I remembered April 16. And I've never done more than two Almy pages in one day before. If they appear soon in my Recently Updated Pages, or the Almy's Search page, I trust you'll find them, or by another of the search functions of this site. They're all very much under construction, of course, but there should be mention of Australian Idiocracy, Australian Slang, and Australian Free Stuff. You could always try BingVsGoogle if you still can't find those. Now for a cuppa. Would that Australian idiocracy would get better. See no signs of it yet!

Idiocracy is one of the funniest movies I'm seen, but stupidity as a national trait, for reasons at which I can only guess, but hope to explore and examine, is not exclusively American, Australia has it in spades. In coming days, weeks, months or years (I'm brain damaged, you know), it's my intention to reveal why the land of the brave shouldn't be outdone by the USA in this. I have lots of examples already, in my head and on my rather copious computer files, so as I find any, they'll be here. I'll have snippets, links, maybe more.

Things like a good mate of mine, about my age, who I've long considered to be my intellectual equivalent or superior, recently asked me why I was leaving a dinner function, and I said "because I want to". I didn't mean it in a rude way, and I usually have quite good rejoinders for people who I think are having a go at me, or whatever. He asked me three times, and I was wondering if his question was weird, or my answer was. Even later, I can't work it out. Anyway, it set me thinking about Idiocracy. There sure is a lot of it about in Australia. I can think of so many examples, I barely know where to start, but crap crepe will do. An average Australian family uses about $5 of toilet paper per week. They'll end up with smelly 'privates', hampering their love lives, perhaps their own happy lives and  those of their children, and for many people, a pharmacy-bought chemical will cost, say, $10. The recipients of the benefits of all this are those who despoil forests, kill native creatures, make unwise business decisions, demand taxpayer support for their polluting factories, and probably spend a fortune on swanning about in million-dollar yachts. On the other hand, a small scrap of waste rag washed in water, costs nowt  about a cent in water, leaves people smelling better, isn't bad to our beloved environment, feels better, and ... oh, don't get me started. No rag or running water? Even better. Use your fingers and a dripping tap! No one's watching! Are you Western-ashamed of the human body as well? We al have one, you know. The fanatis who invented the fiction  of offense in the beauty of the human      form have been dead for centuries, and it's time to move on from the nonsense, or waste precious time. Not  getting any younger. You might believe in Heaven - I don't. Crap! Only spoiled Westerners have lost the ability to think on such matters as using toilet paper. The fact that you're using a computer is not conclusive, but compelling evidence that you are such a one. Argue with me. I'm happy to be proven wrong, and I change accordingly.

My registered letter gives an example. I still haven't heard from the Minister of Police, any more than the police in Bellingen and Coffs Harbour, even the very desk of the detective in charge of the investigation of what I believe was attempted murder of me. I happened to bump into a police officer in Bellingen, and told him I'd been waiting for Coffs to call me as they'd promised. I patiently watched him email all sorts of police in Coffs, and he promised I'd hear back soon. That was mis-March. I'll try the new Minister around Easter this year. He's no doubt still settling in after his election victory. This is another "because I want to" thing. I have so many of those, it must be my brain injury, just as I was repeatedly told by some staff at the Royal Rehabilitation Centre I was wrong about my age by about ten years, and I believed I had three children, not two. The notes couldn't be wrong! Anyway, when I was a kid, amongst all the clearly arrant nonsense, they taught me to keep promises. I'm old. Ignore me.

In my life I've been stalked by a woman for 18 months, nearly stabbed to death by the same, spent a few hours in Gadaffi's lockup in Misurata, told a PhD that I prefer to be phoned 9-5 and was then asked if I mean day or night ... I think I have a few reasons to weigh up trust myself. And wonder at the Idiocracy. Dad taught me virtues like honesty, trust, reliability, and so on. He always said he lies very occasionally, but he's not a liar. I think that's good advice. I'm like that.

As testimony to Australian Idiocracy, by the same token at the end of the day, consider that Jervis Bay is pronounced Jervis Bay as she are writ. Lord Byron rhymed 'Jervice' with service, the name of the man, his contemporary,  after whom it was named. Yet about half of Australians, even ABC important people (heard on the early morning of May 31, 2011) say 'Jarvis'. Why? Beats me. Doesn't rhyme with 'Purvis', I suppose, and that's a very unfortunate surname. Are English standards "eroding away" (eroding) - expert on ABC Radio National, May 31, 2011, very early morning. Near midnight, in bloody fact.

Daisy Bates and a group of Australian indigenous women, c. 1911

Wilson's Almanac Virtue Award (The Almies)

A section for Australians you believe to excel in virtue, and wish to have them honoured here. And, of course, promo the Almy. A paragraph, or just a name will do, past or present. I don't expect to be rushed off my feet. I'll list my own as they come to me, aware of the fact that any I've not met is only by reputation.

Groups and societies will also be included. I shall give an annual award (presented publicly or privately, commencing on August 6, 2012) $5,000 for my choice of the best recommendation. I might not agree, but maybe that there's only one of me is your advantage rather than disadvantage. The Nobel Prize has too many quarrels among too many bloke's! The money's a lot more, but maybe some of the mega-rich judges feel 'poor'. I've never missed a meal. (I can survive many weeks or even a few months.) Have they? Have you? I must be out of my mind! Well, apparently, I am. It's everyone else who's sane.

Daisy Bates (Kabbarli)    Henry Lawson    Louisa Lawson   

Many of the following are likely candidates, in my view. Under construction, or course, and I'm still checking. More being checked for me, the planet, you and yours, are found at my estimable Lawson Chronology.

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