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A link anywhere at all on all of Wilson's Almanac does not indicate approval, but my interest and recommendation.

                        

Above: My sister Rosie and me at John Hunter Hospital, Newcastle. This room was the one after a week or two in ICU. The photo was taken on a mobile phone, by brother John, one of my rocks in recovery. It's all I have, that and evidence of the event from neighbours, of the event that ended so much of my life. Just one example, by September 10, 2011, when I knew I was getting out of False Memory Syndrome, and life had me wake up surrounded by people who didn't know me or my town, or even like my town (including, apparently, the mock-everything doctor in charge), I could clear memories with John. Maybe John also had to invoke my decision, "Obey everything, no matter the order, no matter by whom. Smile at all, no matter how high in rank, or a relative 'in charge', lest you be stuck here without a dollar and told all you know is your brain damage." And tell the truth at all times. Sick of liars.
Below: Me with co-gardener, Hon. Chase Chook, March 27, 2011.

A certain friend of mine who was a prisoner in Northern Ireland during 'The Troubles'
has offered to beat to a pulp any of the apparently four men who attempted murder upon me, August 6, 2010.
I already have excellent security, but I said that as long as he doesn't kill any of them,
I have no objection to anything he decides to do. Seems like a good idea to me. Pip

Please read first  - Whodunnit?

On March 18, 2011, I posted this registered letter to Hon Michael Daly, NSW Minister for Police, offering again to exchange information about the assault and presumable attempted murder upon me in McNally Street, Bellingen, July 6, 2010. The state election lost by Labor on Mar. 26 makes me presume it's all forgotten, if ever noted. Poverty, assault, even attempted murder (maybe even murder), seem not to be on the radar of our masters. On about March 25, 2011, in Bellingen I bumped into a police officer who emailed the Coffs Harbour investigating desk, with my details, phone number, email address, and was promised a reply. Both times (December 22, 2010 as well) I was cordial, and I was promised action. I regret I've done all I can do, so far. This might be a bit like how Obama feels about how Osama was protected for so long in Pakistan. I'm not accusing any police of corruption, nor co-operation with my assailant/s, but do I think that any reasonable person would agree that in a case such is mine there would have been an attempt made to discuss it with me. I'm told that I was interviewed by police while I was in John Hunter Hospital in Newcastle. As I was either in a coma or emerging from one. I can't imagine that I could have given reliable evidence, nor that the Newcastle police would know me, my attacker/s, intimate details of my associations with people here, nor any knowledge of any enemies I might have.  I believe that when admitted to John Hunter, I was four degrees Celsius below normal body temperature. All this is guesswork on my part, something in which I have little confidence. I haven't given up my interest in all this, and I intend to investigate for a long time.

I intend not to aid in the prosecution of the culprit/s. who I forgave months ago. Friends have advised otherwise, but I'd say that for four months I've never thought nor felt so superbly well in my life, nor happier. I'd ask them to pay amends to three local people who suffered more than I. Garden amends, appropriate and fine. I finished paying my own amends to three of these on March 24, so I accept four months' amends as sufficient.

It's Monday, and it's been a long Monday already, and a long Monday, Patrick, for about nine months. May 9, 2011.

Yesterday I asked an elderly friend, also a victim of the Bellingen assault outbreak, and also badly sight-damaged from it, to be my witness while I made some important phone calls. I spoke to a constable at Coffs Harbour Police station, after having been put on hold a lot, cut off, waiting ... I finally got the bloke. I explained my stuff, and was promised that some detective would phone me ASAP. As I had last year (December 19) I'd spoken to the very desk of the investigating officers in my slightly more important case than someone's traffic fines, and I add that about two or three months ago I bumped into a Bellingen police officer across the road from my house on a completely unrelated matter, who took a laptop from his car, found that all my details were there such as address, phone number, email address, matters to do with my assault, and so on, and emailed a slurry of detectives and constables, on my behalf I was led to believe. He said I sounded angry that no one had returned my call as promised to wish them a merry Christmas, 2010, and offer to share info. (The detective was on the very desk that had investigated back in August, 2010, knew my name and case well and welcomed me home.) I might have looked angry, sounded angry, but I was extremely friendly and polite to this constable as well. I also spoke with the Sawtell woman, who said she heard me on that night have an argument with a number of people (she couldn't say if they were male or female, and that with the effluxion of time she wasn't sure she could remember it all), but the argument she'd heard was inside my house, not the driveway as I'd thought. She heard me call "I don't want a fight about it" (or 'to fight' - big difference, but they sound very much alike), and saw TWO (or more) cars pursue mine in an easterly direction. She was amazed that in nine months the police have told me nothing. I'm used to it, but not entirely. Anyway, the thot plickens. Are you hooked yet? I am. Are you cleaned out of money yet? I am. (I hope Mr Zuckerberg and all my 'friends' at my Facebook, are reading all this cops/doctors/money/e-book-launch/freebies/Bellingen/Idiocracy/slang/Paypal stuff, and not as bored/pissed off as they seem. They might be more interested in helping me, themselves, friends, residents/visitors to Bello, and loved ones. It is to me unbelievable that some kind of vigilante committee hasn't been formed, and I don't mean to string anyone up, but to stop this sort of stuff going on, and to do its own investigations. The fact that I have to do all this on my own, half blind and broke - and with other stuff like having to risk my life falling off a high balcony climbing in my high bathroom window, simply because a succession of  real estate property managers (I believe the current one will do something honestly) for four years have promised repairs to this ranging from expensive leaking taps inside and outside my home (that are damaging the floor and garden and annoying with sound and expense), to screens on doors and windows that won't allow me in my own home and much more. I add that three female friends of mine of mine had Ross River Virus. The two in Sydney ended up in wheelchairs and the one less than half a kilometre away (who also had an Extreme Traumatic Brain Injury) said it was absolutely excruciating for about three months, and my backyard is alive with mosquitos in summer.  It says 'Please read first', but will anyone? Maybe overseas readers will do something reasonable. To put the final seal on this utter nonsense, a Bellingen some friends have even persistently tried to prevent me from phoning or talking to the Coffs cops! And I thought I knew them! I was apparently interviewed by Newcastle police, who neither knew me nor Bellingen, while I was emerging from a coma. Because I was in Post-Traumatic Amnesia, according to medical records given to me by a Coffs Harbour social worker attached to the Coffs Hospital, for 71 days rather than the common one or two for a brain injury, I think that as a person who pays his taxes, I deserve an appointment with Coffs Detectives. And that is what I said to Coff Police yesterday, and the cop agreed. Now I suppose I just wait and see what they and the Police Minister, who has my registered letter of months ago actually does. The reply of April 28 was signed by M Batterham, Manager, Ministerial Liaison Unit, with the heading. 'Attempted Murder' (all in lover case!) May 10, 7:38 am (I intend to continue updating, datestamping and adding to his note, as I feel like it (not much), and might remove or amend it sometimes, and I certainly will be scupulously honest with all this stuff, but I don't think now is the time to make significant changes. Checked for typos in my slight blindness, twice, so ... stet.) May 10, 7:49 am.

Three almost entirely unrelated 'public notices': (1) Still no phone call from any police; (2) Just had a rare fall, from the second-lowest rung of my internal hardwood staircase; (3) Flatmate wanted. May 11, 1:51 pm.

So, this is looking like more of a saga every day. A kind friend of mine, who was also beaten badly in Bellingen (in the shopping centre, after leaving Diggers' Club) and had TBI and optic nerve damage as well, but can drive, took me to Coffs Harbour (I'm not long home, an hour or two - been unpacking croceries, typing this hard yakka) and I waited alone in the foyer for hours, to speak to anyone at all about what happened to me, and ask how I might help with the investigation, how they were proceeding, and so on. I would also politely have asked why no officer had ever spoken to me (except I guess when I got a chance, I would have politely asked what they thought of my interview in Newcastle) yet when I phone, they always promise that they will. The detective now in charge of the investigation knew it was 'Philip Wilson of Bellingen' told the desk constable in the foyer, by phone, that he was see me at about 11:30am. After a very long wait, a woman whose husband of 14 years had left her last night with three young children, and had taken the car she owned, but was not answering the mobile phone (also paid for by her). She wanted to file a missing-persons report, and believed that he was with his parents in Victoria, but legally could not for a day or so. I thought her case was much more important than mine, so I left. My friend, driving me down the Pacific Highway, said that the detectives are hoping I'll go away. (We got lost at the Bonville turnoff, which after years I usually do and anyone would.) And that's what I did - I went away. but maybe not in the way they like. I hope readers will share this stuff with anyone, not just in Bello or Caoffs. And I hope you'll continue to play Sherlock Holmes with me, every day if you can, but I'll only post here if a detective actually talks to me, Meanwhile, this arvo I'm going to start a new webpage and call it Pip's Pix, because with all my TBI stuff and such a shitbox computer, I didn't know I had them. As I have lots of ideas and lots of free time, I'll keep doing stuff on Microminibliss, and all Book of Days stuff and Microminibliss. If interested, I presume you can Google and use my Search, so any ideas and contributions are more than welcome. Adidas, amoebae. See youse when I do. I'm a patient and tenacious so-and-so. Friday. May 13, 2:33pm. Next wee bit added, May 15, 1:18 pm: "Happy birthday, chaps. Next year, maybe. Sometime."

I walked to town with one purpose being to ask a cop, preferably detctive if they could tell me anything at all. I decided to get a witness, anyone who might be quite reasonable looking. One bloke seemed OK, and I know him quite well, but he had a dog. A man and a woman couple I know rather, and have for years, well refused. I walked to the doctor's, made an  appointment for about ten days hence, because, while I have no headache, I feel some pressure in my forehead that I don't like. I suppose (hope) it's a combination of my eyesight probs and the delay from the cops. May 19, 11:49 am.

VERY slightly and amended letter (for the sake of my copious typos) to Coffs Harbour police via their website. I will remove this immediately, if the answer is satisfactory. "My name is Philip ('Pip') Wilson from Xxxxxxxx St, Bellingen, telephone xxxx xxxx. I am a very experienced journalist, and public relations officer for NSW government instrumentalities. I am particularly experienced with the Internet. And I wish to make the following very clear. I am now half blind, and very damaged in other ways from deadly assault in McNally St, Bellingen, on the night of August 5/6 2010 and left to die by, according to a neighbour, "at least" two carloads of people, mostly male, but gender otherwise not determined, and left at 0 degrees C, possibly a few degrees below, from 11 pm till 6 am. I do not know or care if this is negligence or attempted murder. I am prepared to allow any of my 5 or so close barrister friends to work that out, but I have been restrained by kindness so far, to the Coffs and Bellingen police. On NUMEROUS occasions, since Dec.19, 2010, I have been PROMISED by detectives in charge of the enquiry, that they will return my call of thanks, and my offer to share information. But always kept waiting, whether at Coffs Police station, or in Bellingen. If I do not hear from the detective/s ON MY CASE, such as Detectives xxxxx or xxxxx, by May 25, 2011, I will actively begin using my plentiful contacts at the ABC, Sydney Morning Herald, and The Australian, and within less than one week begin a campaign extremely damaging to Coffs Harbour and Bellingen Police. I have had more than enough. I am a diligent taxpayer and law-abiding citizen with a university degree and considerable standing in my community. Would you, sirs, and mesdames, not do something similar in my position? May 22, 2011, approx. 11:18 pm.

Break Wilson? Gaddafi tried to break him. He knows the Bellingen bush well. He knows Oz bush well. He's survived worse than you. Keep trying, chaps.

Mr Wilson

Your concerns have been forwarded to the Professional Standards Manager at Northern Region. Should you wish to follow up on this inquiry that Office can be contacted on 02 49290801. CAU Ref: CRM 3959560.

Regards Jim
Customer Assistance Unit.
May 25, 2011

It is 5:47 pm, May 25, 2001. The police haven't phoned all day. Nor have my Almanac nor real friends. I think they should all be ashamed of them themselves. People are getting murdered in Bellingen (I was seconds away from being one of them), and the idiots want to watch TV rubbish, or sport, or pop bands. I shall write very soon to the Sydney Morning Herald, the Australian, the Bellingen Courier-Sun, the Coffs Harbour Advocate, TIME Magazine, and more, despite my lack of printer, and I expect no support - as usual. If it comes, I shan't link it here as they all have their own websites. I am indefatiguable in this, and abhor people's Idiocratic values. Today, a close friend asked me to stop talking about murder in Bellingen, that I was boring". (Yet another person with TBI.) On Sunday, a Bellingen elder ignored my plea for two minutes of discussion, as did a local journalist who had promised a story on all this but has since not contacted me. I might have 40 years left, but I refuse to delete this post (nor cease and desist), which I wrote in near-blindness and a reasonable fear of walking in the dark, in rain, without an umbrella. I intend to do so now and perhaps be murdered, but I'll fight ferociously, and with 40 push-ups a day, and much walking, and a persuasive tongue, I expect to win. Last week I told a fickle friend to go fuck himself. And he protested! I hope he wised up and fucked himself. People seem almost more selfish than I'd thought. Now, a walk to the Providore shop (and back to do some more of the Book of Days, which I enjoy doing without asking for money as I used to, although I need it so much more. And me happy, despite all. I enjoy the dogs and horses, and the walk.

Had a phone call within the last hour. I spoke to a police Public Relations person, an officer I believe, from the Coffs area (should have taken his name, but I was quite busy and a bit flustered). I told him of my concerns, and that I am not cranky, not angry, but waiting too long and would like to talk to anyone associated with investigations into my case. He said he'd get back to me, or someone will, very soon. May 26 2011, 3:32 pm.

 

I guess I've had enough of just about everyone. No one seems to care that I was left to die in the freezing cold and live in fear. Some police, some family, some friends (though some are exemplary) ... no one much seems to be doing anything real, especially for others getting bashed. Maybe wives widowed, kids made orphans. Oh, how I've tried. More important matters, I suppose. Still I have a good heart. Even if they stay so cold, and I have to defend my life, I'll keep on going with the Almy. June 13, 2011.

 

I got this email on June 23, 2011, and my reply follows:

Mr Wilson,

This is a follow up in relation to you complaint. I have been assured by the investigators that they have been in contact with you. I am also aware that they have spoken to (name removed, the Sawtell woman - PW) and that she was unable to provide any evidence that would assist.
As a matter of course your complaint file will now be closed, however please feel free to contact me at anytime. I am on 66420200. I will be available today (23.6.2011) until 12 midnight
Regards

Inspector M.J.Gillett
| Duty Officer | Coffs/Clarence Local Area Command – Grafton Police Station | Phone: (02) 66420222 | Eaglenet: 73200 |Eaglenet fax: 73226  | Email:
gill1mur@police.nsw.gov.au
 
My reply:
Sir, the assurance is wrong. I'm in the phone book. They're lying. I hope they had a happy Christmas, that's what I phoned them for. I have lived here for 34 years and half the people of Bellingen know me. I have five grandchildren here. Please give me no more assurances, please ask a policeman to contact me. I believe I have some evidence and I'm sick of the bullshit. Please email me.

I walked down Dowle Street to check my answerphone at the phonebox, and it's on the blink. But the same applies. I'm easy to find in Bellingen. If police ask at Bananacoast Credit Union, the Courthouse, 2-BBB-FM, the Courier-Sun newspaper, the Butter Factory, The Lodge, the cafes in town ... wherever they want, they'll find me quickly. I wonder what tomorrow will bring.

 

Dear Mr Gilllett,

Thank you for your speedy reply. It is possible Bellingen and/or Cofs Police tried to phone me, and my phone was on the blink. However, I live at 23 Dowle St, 700 metres from Lavenders Bridge, which I walk across every day, five times or so. I presume they can drive, if the matter is of the slightest importance to them. An experienced and well-connected media person, I've restrained myself from informing almost all newspapers, local and national, but my patience, I'm sure you must understand, has worn incredibly thin.

Pip

6655 2785

On 23 June 2011 19:46, Murray Gillett <gill1mur@police.nsw.gov.au> wrote:

Mr Wilson,

As per our last phone conversation I spoke directly to the investigator and I provided him with you telephone number. He assured me that he would contact you. So is it the case that no police officer from the Coffs Clarence LAC has been in contact with you?

Mr Wilson as stated previously Linda Phillips could not help us do you have other evidence that you can supply me so I can be assured that the investigators follow it up?

Regards Murray Gillett

Pip adds to this page later: Correction of eyesight-derived typo and anxiety-induced error of fact: I walk across Lavenders Bridge three times on many days of the week. The question remains, "What if I know who tried to murder me?" What will police say to that?

 

The following is derived from information I have received from family members, and others. I have no memory at all of the events in my life before about September 10, 2010, back to June or July, 2010. My memory of anything of 2010 before June is sketchy. The injury around my eyes is more of a curse then just my sight. My imagination suffers badly from all of my brain injury, hard for a writer and artist.

Approximately seven hours following my loud argument, in or outside my residence, with a person or persons unknown, I was found, prostrate and unconscious on a small Bellingen road, near my car, by a recycling worker and others at about dawn on Thursday, August 5 and taken to hospital in Coffs Harbour. That long night I was lying on the road was about zero degrees Celsius. Apart from broken bones in my forehead, I had pneumonia. Within hours I was flown by air ambulance to a general hospital in Newcastle where I stayed mostly unconscious for about five weeks. On September 6 I was admitted to an unfortunately named 'brain rehabilitation unit' in Ryde, Sydney, from which I was discharged on November 27.

Family members who saw me hours after the assault tell me that I was bearing bruises and injuries indicative of my having lost a fist fight. My dentures were later returned to me, broken. My right hand was swollen and bruised. Hospital records state that I was treated for broken bones near my temples and a broken cheek bone, and also for pneumonia. The night on which I apparently spent about ten hours unconscious on a Bellingen street, less than one kilometre from my residence, would have been terribly cold as winter nights generally are in Bellingen (I have seen a Bellingen frost as late as September 20). Family members were advised by doctors that I might die.

Two months before I was discharged from the Sydney hospital, my eldest son remarked to me that the winter cold of my initial night of trauma might have saved my life. A fortnight before my discharge, I heard on ABC radio that three Australian and one New Zealand teams were embarking on research of therapeutic hypothermia.    More

Note on my Facebook:

Leanne Sheehy: Glad to hear you are home safe and sound. When my husband found you on the road he said it didn't look good. (He was the garbo man.) Hope they find the bastards that attacked you. But welcome home!
29 November at 13:06

NB (Jan. 22, 2011) After about six months I'm recovering well, but slowly -- but I sincerely believe much faster than the guessed November 27, 2010 prognosis of "about two years". I try to post at least once a day on my Facebook. I do hope you'll join me! Stay in touch with someone's recovery from Extreme TBI (Traumatic Brain Injury) and tell a friend.

Please excuse errors on this page ... I was in 'Post-Traumatic Amnesia' for 71 days around such a long coma, had to relearn how to use my computer and even making a cup of tea -- what a hassle!

Wilson's definitely 9-5 if you would like to phone him. He's quite affable. A failing, to be sure. That's 9-5 by day. Not by night as he was arksed. Bellingen 2783. Still got it, thank ye lords. Speeg!.

Two hours ago, police brought to my daughter's home my keyring. I'm delighted because it has my missing ersatz Swiss Army knife with jarrah btimber handle, probably illegal in NSW but I've had an Swiss Army knife in my pocket for decades, and if anyone doesn't have intent to damage anyone, it's me. I eat a lot of fruit and peel it with that knife. And other things, like my post office key - I've had so much trouble at Coffs P.O. without it, and Coffs is awfully hard for me to get to. Other good things as well - at last, a font door key! Also my memory stick. What a hassle that's all been!! Thank you, police. Perhaps you're finally getting the picture that I don't want to rouse on you, I want to share information, knowledge of Bellingen and Coffs, and so on. Seeya. May 29, 2011, 7:57 pm.

 

My first poem in TBI recovery

Friday, January 28, 2011

Written as my return piece for Bellingen Poetry Night, Jan. 28, 2011. Many thanks to Bellingen poet Liz Routledge for reading the poem after I read preamble.

I dedicate this to Misty Hanley. First posted on my Facebook page.


Now, this bit before the pome is about me. I wrote on Facebook, I've heard too much bunkum about events. Some of it can hurt people other than me, so I must set the record straight, if only once. Thank you for listening thus far.

If curious, please only ask the one world expert on it all. Me. The amount of misinformation is ridiculously high. Boring to others, but annoying to me. Let's have the truth about Pip and what happened. It was nearly my murder by a gang, so ... puh-lease! I have a phone now. :) 9-5 only!

On Thursday, August 5, around 11pm, a person or persons unknown assaulted me in Bello. Putting together data I've got from all sorts of sources, I think I did better than the cops. In a nutshell, all I know now is I was writing good and long emails at home that night, was seen by a neighbour being hassled by guys, went inside about 11pm, coming outside again, presumably with my bunch of keys, getting in my car and fleeing eastwards. My assumption is that I didn't know that I was pursued, but wanted a telephone, fast, and last year the Dowle Street one was often smashed. So if I didn't know I was pursued, I would have gone to my friend Misty's place to ask for a phone. I was found on McNally Street 7 hours later. Two people, both my friends, called me in hospital, and one said I had fallen over. Not what happened. I trust we all hate rumour mills.

Imagine trying to work this stuff out in a brain injury unit in Sydney. The only calls I ever had, I was lucky to get, at the far-away nurses' station, in a corridor with bad reception. Talking at all was hard; privately was almost impossible. My room had no phone, toilet, TV, computer, nothing. I grew a lovely succulent given me by visitors and old friends, 8-Ball Aitken and Bird Jensen. I was visited four days by Adelle formerly known as Barnett, who is a Bello friend most of you know and I've known her since my early days here. She was a patient in the same hospital seven years ago, but it's very different these days.

Even these days I might forget that date August 5, and I have forgotten much of 2010, especially the six months or so before about September 20. My memory is improving, so are my feelings. Every TBI (Traumatic Brain Injury) is like a fingerprint, and I've seen that in hospital with some people there for a year, some for three days, and in my case, until about three weeks ago, although I could feel a wide range of feelings, like love (which is very often even more awesome than ever) and hunger, for those six months I have felt it in my head, not in the body. I don't mean like tingling flesh on the scalp … I've had that for months which is the only reason I got my hair cut. Also because in bed my hair tickled my face. If I stubbed my toe, I would have felt it. When I told a Necherin Buddhist penfriend all sorts of stuff like that she seemed amazed that I had stumbled on something she's been trying to do with exercises for years. I know that's all obtuse, and it is for me, so I'll go on. For months I have felt all I want to feel, but some visceral feelings are returning. My happiness, love and hope are without peer for me. The fact that I had my first yawn this week is weird. So is the fact of recently beginning to feel hunger just a bit. For example, I'm beginning to eat not by the clock. So I've felt absolutely amazing love, but only in recent weeks could I feel my heart beating. Go figure. I still need a clock to know time for bed.

Ben S., a fine Bello garbo, that morning was urged by a growing small crowd to call police, but he felt my pulse and called the ambulance which came and took me to Coffs Hospital. I was taken on Friday, August 6, by air ambulance to Newcastle. According to a wrist band I wore, on September 7, I was admitted in a wheelchair to (ok, I'll name it) Ryde Rehabilitation Centre in Sydney which has a maximum of 16 beds, and is about the only place in NSW, and I still think of it as one of our state's disgraces and should be investigated. I was discharged on about November 27 and flew home alone in a day, full of joy, hope, fear, lousy vision from muscular injury around my eyes, and all these weird feelings things I have tried to describe but can't.)

I've only recently (March, 2011) learned that I was in Ryde's PTA in the first 71 days. I've also learned since coming home that my stuff is called Traumatic Brain Injury and that has several levels: Moderate, Severe and Extreme being examples. Mine is Extreme and that means I was very close to death. My family pretty much expected me to cark it. I had the usual injuries of being beaten up. And apparently what looked to my son like a swollen and busted right hand, so apparently I defended myself and got one in, but nothing WAS broken. The night I was bashed was about 0 degrees and in Newcastle I was treated for pneumonia.

I was apparently interviewed by Newcastle police. Since my return to Bello I've had no call from police as I was promised by the desk of the investigation team from Coffs when I rang THEM on December 29 to find out if I could tell them anything, or they tell me. Thanking them and wishing them a Merry Xmas were paramount to me. Some of my possessions are still missing but my family got back for me my car which I had paid rego repairs on a day or so before all this. Plus my computer, which the cops also had. My best mate Baz has helped me with heaps of things like a timer light for my steep hardwood stairs, which for a couple of weeks I had trouble moving on. He's also helped with things I still find quite difficult, like landline, bills, mobile. Baz le Tuff, from Coffs, has been my mate since the mid-1960s, and we found out after some decades of close friendship that we are related twice. Long story for another time.

For ten years until New Year's Day, I had 3,500 daily readers worldwide. Now I'm beginning again.

Millions of people have TBI, but almost nobody else has heard of it. I hadn't, though I'd heard of MS. OK, any questions please after my pome and we all should be brief.

It's called,

TBI Recovery. TBI Treatment Recovery. (January 28, 2011)

I'm back!
Since the first Bellingen Poetry Night that Marti Guy called,
I've been at nearly every one.
This'll be printed in the paper
If I rhyme "done" with "Courier-Sun".


This is mostly about me.
So I guess someone will call it a pome.
All of you know I had my brains bashed in.
That isn't my only note,
But that's where I'll begin.

I can type one line of text
And I can leave it, errors and all.
But I'd still be bugged by Mrs Paine,
That aptly named 3A teacher I had.
And peruse it. And peruse it againe, and get it right.
And some teacher, lecturer or poet looks over my shoulder
Even if it's at my poetry.
And so do Bill Shakespeare and Emily Dickinson.
They can go knot themselves. This is ME. But they're right.

I put Bill Shakespeare before Emily just then, unalphabetically,
Because I think he was better. I don't care about their gender.
Sheesh!! Six months away and not much changes.
Thank God, Misty's not like the others.

If Nick finds a cup of decaf downstairs at home,
I could say I left it to cool.
Or I could say I forgot the fucker. I forgot.
Which would you believe? Which would you say?
I mean, the weather's been hot. Bloody hot.
And I'll never drink Powerade again,
Which for me is like a few bad trips at once. Maybe ten.


So they put me in Ryde Rehab, 500 kilometres from home,
And my life was controlled by them ...
The state, the hospital admins, bean counters.

And at the Royal I started to wake up,
with walking a bit around.
I was the only patient with an electronic ankle tag,
And every door I went out,
I set off alarms.

I vaguely remember in the early Royal days
Being rough-handled by two wardsmen back to my room
from a rose garden.
It probably happened, but I was still deep in False Memory Syndrome.
By mid-September, I remember,
My brother became my sounding board,
Because even in the company of those who didn't know me,
And a hospital boss doctor who often mocked Bellingen
In front of patients and visitors,
I needed a sounding board. I knew my brain was fucked.
I knew I had False Memory Syndrome.
My brother knew it too,
Having seen me lying around like a beached jellyfish.
Having seen me walking around like a spastic.
Having heard me talk gobbledygook about everything.
Having heard the places I'd lived at
And the place I lived at now.
Poor John, poor John
And helped a cretinous bother live on.
So if I had a strong thought,
Or memory in my head,
But I thought it might be wrong,
John was my rock,
Because I couldn't ask a patient, Dad or a doc.
Everybody needs a John.
In some of the things I was right,
In some of them I was in False Memory Syndrome.
It's not like a dreamt thing, it's like a memory.
Asking some medical
Fascist with a PhD
who doesn't know the answers,
Forget it
Before you lose your brain.
All you can do is ask John,
Or find a way to punch a question up the doctor's arse.
But very quick you work it out,
About the time False Memory's gone,
That the only way out of this place,
Is to obey, keep your mouth shut, and smile.

Try to remember to give the headlines of your news
To your sister, to the carpet and John.
You smile at everyone
from a cleaner to the boss.
Because if you don't do that you're stuck there
Without five cents in your pocket
And clothes from the laundry throwaway shelf,
The clothes you found on your bed early,
Someone put there to help,
Weird clothes like American baseball skivvies.

And when the doctor boss mocks you and laughs
In front of staff, patients and visitors,
About the way you dress,
Keep your mouth shut and chuckle.
Or if you're ever thinking of getting home,
They'll talk in the staff room about you escaping,
And you've seen what happens to nice blokes who don't escape.

Like C~~~~ one of a few.
A winebar restaurant manager from Glebe,
Who was going home on Tuesday,
Packed his bag, something so hard for me now
when it's hard for me to make a teabag cuppa,
and is sitting at the door,
Crying.

Because his family has driven from Inverell
and booked an expensive motel
(they're all expensive in Sydney, everything is)
And being told, "No, we think next Tuesday now".
And next Tuesday your mate is at the same glass door,
And the family too,
And they're all crying
Because now it will be next Tuesday again.

Welcome to the Twilight Zone.
Don't get TBI or you'll be purged in TZ.

And your roommates, time after time,
Introduce themselves, so you both shake.
He will stay for a week. He for two weeks. He for a day
and you hope he's not a snake
Who will find you've left something to hock,
Day or night when you've dressed
As you must dress, to go to the loo,
Which apparently is formal,
Because wearing on your feet only socks will shock
Or rile some nurse, wardsman, or doctor,
Whether it's midday or 4 o'clock a.m.

It wouldn't help unless, as with anything,
You could teach him how to Google.
If he's never heard of things like The Last Whole Earth Catalogue,
It's OK. It was before he was born.
Try something, anything, that he's read.
Try the TV Guide. If he's a newborn charismaniac, never try porn.
And if that's the case,
Try to get some sleep
When way after bedtime he prays out loud for 15 people.
Including you.
At least he can talk, not like that other guy
Who they moved.
The one another room-mate hated
Before he escaped, by demanding of the commandant
That he had to go back to Tassie
And I guess herr commandant was scared that day,
And the bloke got out, and it was all bullshit,
But it's true he had an ATM card
And never lied to his room-mate.
And he always had ciggies to puff,
So he probably did have some bucks.
And he couldn't stand the ward's howling any more than I could,
And the unobserved kids.
The kids delighted me. The dogs scared me.
Smile and say nothing.
Like, I couldn't stand trying to walk
Being yapped at by pet dogs
Owned by visitors or staff
And I was scared I would bash my head on the concrete wall,
And my lifelong extreme allergy to dogs, cats and rabbits,
Could make me really sick.
Just as woefully sick as I was that day on which
Some bug went around the Royal.
Something they never figured
And you sure wouldn't be told unless you asked
Because you have TBI,
And you've got to be OH SO careful
And obey everything however small,
Whether told you by a top doctor, a cleaner, someone's visitor -- and smile.
Some people don't mind a foreign wardsman only seen once before
coming into their room in the early a.m.
And pretending to wield a long sabre
And stab you.
While an otherwise nice room-mate cacks himself laughing.
I mind that sort of thing.

Some people are fine with being served breakfast
Five minutes before being due in gym,
Or seeing in the timetable left by someone on their bed each Sunday
That on their trudge back from Gym
They will have an hour of written questions
From one of all who don't know you've had weeks of double vision.
And everyone knows double vision is fine.
Hell, even I knew that. It's just a blur. Big deal.
Anyone mentally worn out by it
After a few lousy months
Is probably mental.
Bad luck if your eyes look fine.
And I guess that some people are fine
With seeing their latest bad score in the nut factory.
And to have to smile as well as possible on the way back
To the trudge corridor.
To me, I'm just a wimp.
To them I have brain damage.
Don't ask how that's going.
Oh boy don't ask questions.
You've seen grown men cry.
You've seen grown men and women trudge and trudge
And try to smile.

You've seen the mother of that Korean woman
Who doesn't understand English but howls and screams day and night,
Late at night Mum's trolling through the fridge and tables
in the TV and dining room.
You've seen her a day later waddle to a car,
Driven by some family member,
Laden down with two big bags of groceries.
Worst of all, the milk.
Don't let the staff know this happens daily.
Don't be a trouble maker, for gorsake.
Someone will tell a cleaner you said it,
And they could tell someone up the line.

You'll like and trust some people there.
There might be only 16 patients
But there are dozens of staff.
Don't say a word. Don't say a word.
Tanya did, and she was heard.
She's sure she won't be out for more months.
Tom doesn't dare tell her she was heard.
If you say you have three children,
And they ask, “No, don't you have two?"
It could be a trick question,
But say two.
If some doctor comes,
Be happy it's finally happened.
But if he asks you how it feels
To be 48, don't say
"I seem to remember it felt good 11 years ago".
Because his notes are in his hand.
Go with the flow. Say “good".
Cuz he'll only say it's your brain damage
And he'll never forget you can't get home.

Don't forget such a thing!
It's only your brain damage.


And, lala la lala la lala la,
The day before
I flew into Coffs,
That forbidding speech therapist
Came to my room
Lala la lala la lala la.
Questionnaire in hand,
About my experience in that place,
And beside me she did stand,
After I told her I was waiting
For a staff member who'd said he'd be there in a minute.
And I later waited an hour or two for him.
Nice bloke. Couldn't piss out a fire.
Lala la lala la lala la
And she said, when I got to a question
That I answered like Goody Twoshoes,
That I'd better cross out my answer
"And write this".
She was my supervisor, I'd read it on a wall.
My father hadn't driven me out the gate yet
So what do you think I did?
Lala la lala la lala la
Obey everything. Smile.

Lala la lala la lala la.
(Sing) And one day I'll get me a T-shirt,
And write in words twelve inches high,
With a bloody big texta I'll buy myself,
SURVIVING PEOPLE'S TREATMENT OF TBI.

 

From my Facebook http://www.facebook.com/pip.wilson, 03 February, 2011:

"The law is an ass." It can be. I talked long with Zigy Pohl, sentenced to life for murdering his wife, to which another confessed after 10 yrs. My next-door neighbour Leo Schofield lost $100,000 for his restaurant review that said the lobster was "stringy".

I long knew Tim Anderson, who served years for the Sydney Hilton Bombing murders and I read the 2,000-page trial transcript. Tim was pardoned. For long time, it was against the law for an Australian Aboriginal to give evidence. If the Ryde Royal Rehabilitation Centre finds by Google Philip Wilson of Bellingen writing that he remembers mental cruelty there and believes there should be a royal commission into that hospital, so be it. I have no money nor property to lose, I'm not young, I was a lawyer's best man, his wife is a magistrate, and I'm articulate, chaps.

And my mate has the Australian record for a compensation judgement. $10 million.

 

Know more about what happened? I'm OK, but if you're not part of the Australian Idiocracy, please tell me!

 

Index of articles on folklore and other topics

There's plenty on the Net about Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI), and neuroplasticity, and you can google. But here are some favourite links of mine in this huge and hopeful subject. In my view, if we could get 1% of the money politicians waste on frivolities, corruption and war, and with the ideas spreading on the Net, we could be on the dawn of a new age -- fast. I challenge each visitor to this page to think on that, and do something small or big. "Mighty oaks from little acorns grow", and "Big things from little things grow". Too busy? Got an hour?

In 1992 or so, I self-published under the imprint Poet Lorikeet Press.
On March 27, 2009, Marti Guy introduced me to Poetry Night, at her
BellaBookCafe in Church Street, as the 'Poet Lorikeet of Bellingen'.
I've toyed with the idea of relinquishing that honorific,
but wish to retain it. If because of my TBI I've forgotten that
I gave, or 'lost', the title to someone, kindly inform me.
As I believe not, I'll continue to 'wear that crown' till then.

Y'all come back now. Hear?

 

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